Aqua Fountain*
Friday 27th April 2007 01:45 | Redemption |
After reading HBP, I think that Dumbledore’s reasons for trusting Snape are pretty weak (in Snape’s words, “a tale of deepest remorse”) and incomplete, so I think, after some editing and reworking, this fic still fits with canon (if you’re with the “Snape is good” side of that debate, that is). Yeah right. Who in their right mind would believe Snape is innocent? Though, this really is pretty convincing.
You've done an exellent job with this. Yes, it's crystal clear that it was from Snape's POV. Only I'm not sure about the woman who murdered the two Muggles. Is she Bellatrix?
The story fits quite well with the facts, though Snape's part in killing Dumbledore makes it hard to believe. You have, however, got this wrong:
Voldemort wasn't necessarily going to kill the entire Potter family. Voldemort killed James because he got in the way, but he would have let Lily go. She could have run. He told her to 'stand aside'. He would have immediatly just killed her if he was going to anyway.
Apart, from that, and that Dumbledore's death turns the facts agant Snape, youi've done a good and convincing story with what we know. Great work.
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Dollface
Monday 23rd April 2007 16:29 | Redemption |
| pretty cool.... nice job on suxh a hard peice of writings since we don t know where snaps loyalties lie yet |
Ishi
Saturday 1st July 2006 23:54 | Redemption |
| Ooh, very good. I'm impressed with the way this story develops. And your characterisation is admirable. You certainly got inside Snape's head. |
critmo
Thursday 29th June 2006 00:43 | Redemption |
| I'm in your corner, although I think you could use a little more detail to explain why Snape did enjoy torturing muggles at some point. "His place in society" doesn't do the trick there. - Interesting story, anyway. |
| Friday 30th June 2006 07:42 | Redemption (Author Response) |
Thanks for the review, critmo! I see your point about my wording there - what I was trying to say was that Snape likes the power that he enjoys as a Death Eater. I think all of the Death Eaters, to some extent, join Voldemort because they think it gives them more power or authority over everyone else - torturing people makes them feel like they have control. This is where I see Snape, at least; I think that he was proud to be a Death Eater because he wanted control over his surroundings, and that's why he enjoyed torturing other people. That said, I get why my description in the story might not have been enough. Hope this clears things up a bit!
~ Kristy |
Arnel
Thursday 22nd June 2006 16:18 | Redemption |
| I read your story with interest and think you did a creditable job in capturing the narrator's changing feelings toward his position in the war. However, I question the fact that Neville Longbottom was completely left out of consideration as a possible target; he was born on July 30, 1980 and his parents were also active in the fight against Voldemort, so the narrator would have also gone to school with Alice and Frank Longbottom. Criticisms aside, you've done a nice job with this story and I enjoyed reading it. |
| Monday 26th June 2006 09:00 | Redemption (Author Response) |
Hey Arnel, thanks for the review! My beta actually said that I should include Neville in the story; my response to her was that while in a longer fic, I would have addressed Neville, for a one-shot I thought it would be too complicated to discuss both boys. There is no indication that Voldemort ever actually tried to attack Neville, or indeed that he knew that Neville could fit the Prophecy. The way I'm getting around this potential discrepancy with canon is by saying that Voldemort asked the Death Eaters to find a child who fit the Prophecy, and the Death Eaters came back with Harry, but not Neville.
~ Kristy |
harryheartsbeeve
Wednesday 21st June 2006 15:08 | Redemption |
The thing that bugs me is that you're probley right. I REALLY want to hate Snape, but this just backs up what I don't want to believe.
Very well written. |
