hedwig_edwiges
Sunday 4th March 2007 08:22 | The Early Years |
I loved the "talking cake"! Do you mind if I use the idea? Of course I would acknowledge where it came from!
(hedwig_edwiges@yahoo.com) |
| Sunday 4th March 2007 08:54 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
| Thanks for your comments. Wait until you hear the grumpy laundry cauldron. You are welcome to use any of the magical inventions you choose. Where would I be without St. Margarets' Days if Destiny? |
Ardie Bea
Tuesday 13th February 2007 00:01 | The Early Years |
| The self-timing cake was a great idea - completely original. |
| Tuesday 13th February 2007 05:46 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
| Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. I'd love a magic oven that would watch over my baking instead of buzzing at me. |
girlyswot
Thursday 25th January 2007 21:44 | The Early Years |
Hi there. I just did the review challenge over at the Sugar Quill and I included this story under the 'New Author' category. So I thought you might be interested to know what I said - I don't think I've seen you over at the forums there?
Now, I'd never normally read a story called 'The Early Years', especially not if I knew it was about babies. But Grandma Kate left me a review, and I know this is her first fic ever, so I thought I'd give it a shot. And I don't really know what to say about it.
If babies are your thing, and you find baby-talk cute, and talk of nappies and breast-feeding doesn't turn you off, then you should try this. It's an interesting idea and I think it may pick up in the later chapters (I believe she's aiming to go through until Harry's first day at Hogwarts). But at the moment it feels a bit like one of my fics. By which I mean, there are lots of ideas all strung together without a very clear sense of structure or purpose. And the Brit in me is itching to pick.
But if this is really her very first fic, I've certainly seen a lot worse. She has a very clear style and draws pictures well with her words. And judging by the other reviews, this is lots of people's cup of tea, if not quite mine.
I don't mean this to be discouraging (having read it through I can see how it might be - sorry) because I do think it's an interesting idea and you have lots of good things in your fic. And maybe my issues over the whole baby thing are clouding my judgment anyway.
But I wonder if your story might be stronger if you have a clearer idea of what each chapter is doing and then cut some of the extraneous detail that doesn't quite fit. I hate doing this too - favourite lines often end up on the cutting room floor. And I'd love to see some conflict somewhere. Perhaps you have this in mind for later on?
Anyway I'll be watching with interest to see how this develops.
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| Thursday 25th January 2007 23:30 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Dear Girlyswot,
Thank you for your kind suggestions about having some conflict and plot. Since the main focus of The Early Years is the friendship that develops between Molly and Lily (and to some extent, Alice) when Molly is serving as a mentor for new Mums, it was hard to avoid breastfeeding and other aspects of being around young children.
I'd appreciate any Brit picks you want to throw in my direction. I believe we share Gerry as our Beta at Phoenix Song so she might be willing to help pass on information. My mother was Irish and I have been accused of sounding too British in real life but I've lived in California for seventy years so may have "gone native'".
I've not done any fiction writing since high school so plot and dialogue are all somewhat foreign to me. They Early Years ends on September 1, 1991, in the evening after the events in King's Cross. I'm thinking about following Harry through the seven books with the focus continuing to be on Molly. I've written rough drafts of the first two chapters and have six more time segments plotted.
Thank you again for taking the time to write suggestions.
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Chatmandu
Wednesday 24th January 2007 09:14 | The Early Years |
Are you writing this as an AU? I always felt the Wizarding population has to know each other well, there are so few of them. Yet the Harry Filter from canon is very narrow. I think you are providing an excellent answer to the question of why canon Molly is so prone to favor Harry.
I like how you show normal people going about their lives as normally as possible in difficult times. Molly and Arthur are almost mentoring the first time parents with their experience. It actually makes reading your story difficult, knowing what befalls one family in 8 months time, and the second family shortly thereafter. Although you write in a bit of fluffiness, there isn't going to be a Happily Ever After, is there.
Despite a feeling of standing on an iceberg watching the Titanic approach, I look forward to reading where you will take these people. |
| Wednesday 24th January 2007 09:28 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for reading and writing a thoughtful review. I think of The Early Years as an extended missing moment and am trying to stick as close to canon as possible. As a matter of fact, the whole scene at King's Cross is straight from the first book, focusing on Molly instead of Harry. I think it is Chapter 7.
This is the first fan fic I have written so I am still working on dialogue and filling the background of the plot. I hope to continue with Harry's first year plus the summer as the next story. I have roughed out eight chapters and finished one. |
Miri
Tuesday 23rd January 2007 07:09 | The Early Years |
I've just read the first three chapters of your story. It's a charming tale with the underlying poignancy of the reader being aware of the tragic fates awaiting so many of these people. It makes it even nicer to see that they did have happy times even if, in Harry's case, he couldn't remember them. I love the idea of the three young mothers "planning" their babies friendships and matchmaking for them. Also loved the "talking" cake although I don't know how I'd feel about eating one!
This also makes you ponder a point that hasn't come up much in canon (unless it shows up a little in the 7th book) and that is just how well, if at all, did the various families involved in this know each other. Given the comparitively small wizrding community, you'd think there'd be some contactamong these people before the HP book events.
Looking forward to more. |
| Tuesday 23rd January 2007 07:34 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for your insightful review. This story grew out of Harry being cared for for a whole 24 hours before being dumped on the Dursley's doorstep. I can't picture anyone but Molly Weasley mothering the newly orphaned toddler. Someone had to change his nappy and feed the poor little tyke.
If the wizarding community is small with most going to Hogwarts and everyone related to each other, it made sense to me to have the three sets of parents of the boys who would go through school together at least be acquainted. They could have had the same midwife (whose name is my homage to St Margarets, who read the really rough drafts and provided all sorts of encouragement with my first fan fic). |
itsme07863
Monday 22nd January 2007 21:43 | The Early Years |
| nice story. very cute. lol. |
| Monday 22nd January 2007 22:41 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
| Thank you for reading and taking the time to write a review. Baby Harry had such a good life. We all know what is going to happen. |
Etoile
Monday 22nd January 2007 13:56 | The Early Years |
| I really like the story, it's very good! However, just one hint - if you use a bit more contractions when your characters are speaking, it flows a bit more and sounds more natural. |
| Monday 22nd January 2007 15:12 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
| Thank you for your review and your suggestion. This is absolutely the first fan fic I have ever written so dialogue and plot are both "works in progress". In later chapters, I gave up trying to write dialogue for Hagric, That I knew I couldn't do. |
lantis222
Monday 22nd January 2007 08:17 | The Early Years |
| I love a baby's first steps, they're so precious. You capture the feeling so well. Very well done I can't wait until the next update! Good Job! |
| Monday 22nd January 2007 08:34 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for reading and reviewing. My own children have children of their own but I do not think I will ever forget the excitement of those first steps, or first "stringing together of words", or first accomplishment of any kind.
I taught school beginners for many years and always felt lfortunate to be a witness to learning. |
CraftyMomChick
Sunday 21st January 2007 23:02 | The Early Years |
good story so far. reminded me a bit of when my kids were little, but these kids are much better behaved than mine were!
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| Monday 22nd January 2007 04:41 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Maybe the Weasley boys know better than to act up at parties. But, you are correct, they are better behaved than boys of my acquaintance that are ten and under. Fred and George must be up to something.
Thanks for taking the time to review. |
hwimsey
Sunday 21st January 2007 18:29 | The Early Years |
Wonderful! I especially liked the talking cake. Heaven knows what my food would say! Felt like I was sitting there amongst them.
Even with this happiness, though, I kept thinking it was oh so sad -- it's right around the corner!
Thank you for sharing this with us.This was written by a woman who knows what she's talking about -- just beautiful. |
| Sunday 21st January 2007 18:58 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
My beloved Beta also got a kick out of the talking cake. If I were a witch, I'd want that feature on my oven.
Thank you for your kind words. So many of the fanfics are very dark and full of angst and scary events. I like to read them but think that Phoenix Song attracts many readers who could use some fluff and hope, as well.
I try to stick close to canon and Molly's point of view of it, so dark times are coming, indeed. |
No Idea Why I Smile
Sunday 21st January 2007 18:02 | The Early Years |
okay, so what is the 'missing 24 hours'? im kind of confused....
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| Sunday 21st January 2007 18:51 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
The question is "Where was Harry?" between when James and Lily were killed the night of October 31,1981 and when Petuna found Harry on her door step on November 2, 1981. That is the "Missing Twenty-four Hours". The Early Years is an attempt to give a plausible answer.
Foe more detail see the Lexicon
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No Idea Why I Smile
Sunday 21st January 2007 16:11 | The Early Years |
awww...
this fic is so cute...and i love how youre bringing Neville into it...hes my all time favorite character...seriously
are you going to go on with this? make it slight AU? im just wondering...i love it so far, and hope you update soon...its really good...cute, fluffy, and all that....
what i mean when im asking if youre going to go on with this, is if you are going to take it into their school years...im curious to know
but it truly breaks my heart to see how happy everyone was before...well just before
Harry and Neville had their parents, and Cedric was alive...that one hit me pretty hard right in the gut...
its really good adn i hope you continue it...i look forward to the next chapter...
~*NIWIS*~ |
| Sunday 21st January 2007 17:40 | The Early Years (Author Response) |
Thank you for reading and reveiwing. I think of the first part as being more of a extended missing moment rather than an alternate universe because we really don't have canon on the "missing 24 hours". The Early Years' final chapter is September 1, 1991 so it ends the day Harry goes to King's Cross. This story and the Epilogue are complete and chapters should be posted about a week apart.
I am working on a new story of Molly's point of view of Harry's first year and the summer between it and his second (Ginny's first). |
