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Author: Musings Story: The New Professor Rating: Teens Setting: AU Status: WIP Reviews: 5 Words: 160,238
"You've got stage fright, lass," the mirror said in a voice belonging to a wizened old grandmother. "That's what it is." Light-headed, Ginny glared at the mirror, which hung above a rough-hewn chest of drawers across the room. "What are you talking about?" she said, pressing a hand to her stomach and sitting on the bench seat at the foot of her bed. "The signs are all there, dear," the mirror said, speaking to her as though she were two years old. "Glassy eyes; pale, clammy skin; and with the way you're holding that trim little waist of yours, I expect your stomach feels as though it could take its leave of you at any moment. Maybe you should have some water." "Oh, bugger off," Ginny muttered, rubbing her hands over her face. Now was not the time to be suffering from stage fright. It was 1 September – the day she'd been planning for more than two weeks, the day she'd been dreaming of since childhood: her first day as a teacher. "Well, really," the mirror said, scandalized. At their first staff meeting weeks before, McGonagall announced there needed to be a change with the Head of House position for Gryffindor. Remus had been acting as Head since Dumbledore's death, however his lycanthropy had caused him to be unavailable several times when the Gryffindors had needed their Head. As a result, McGonagall Had offered to cover his Head of House duties during the times he was afflicted and while he recovered. Now that Harry and Ginny were on staff, Remus looked forward to stepping aside in order to allow one of them the privilege of the job. This afternoon at lunch, McGonagall had finally announced the new Head of House for Gryffindor: Ginny Weasley. She had been shocked to hear her name mentioned; she had been certain Harry would be chosen, especially given his prowess on the Quidditch field. As the rest of the staff clapped for her, she noticed that Harry's shoulders had tightened, the smile on his face almost frozen in place. Finally, he'd leant in to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek, whispering "You'll be great, Gin," into her ear; however, something told her there was more to this than she had been privy to. Ginny's stomach did another slow roll as she thought about all of her new responsibilities. Ashen, she walked over to the bedside table in her private quarters at the bottom of Gryffindor Tower. She had been surprised to find that all of her belongings were in the process of being moved from her old quarters near the Charms classroom to her new room as she returned from lunch. Dobby had beamed with pride – McGonagall had entrusted him with the task and he'd had a staff of house elves pitching in to assist. It was a spacious room, in comparison to her former quarters. A glorious tapestry depicting a medieval carnival on the Hogwarts grounds hung above the huge fireplace, which waited for the first frosty day of autumn. Her bedroom window overlooked the twilight-shadowed lake. The sound of a distant train whistle broke the silence – the students would be arriving soon and she had to get to the Great Hall for a final meeting before they arrived. Picking up a pitcher she'd charmed to remain icy cold, she poured herself a glass of water. "Sano Aegrotus," – "heal the sick" – she said, waving her wand over the glass. Tipping it towards the sleeping Periwinkle in an ironic toast, she downed the beverage in several swallows, and the queasiness subsided. Sometimes, she thought to herself, it's good to be a witch. "That's better," the mirror said. "Now that you've got your color back, that gown looks lovely on you, dear." Ginny arched a brow and regarded her reflection in the mirror. She'd chosen a set of navy-blue crushed-velvet robes and matching gown for the Sorting feast – one of the several new sets of robes she'd splurged on during her last trip to Diagon Alley. Ginny had taken her mother and Hermione on her shopping spree, and had spent three delightful hours at Madam Malkin's going through various swatches of fabric and patterns, giggling like schoolgirls. Hermione had been particularly eager to tag along, in part to escape the house – it had been her last day before maternity leave and she'd been desperate to spend some time with her closest friend and her mother-in-law before she became housebound with preparations for the newest Weasley's arrival. Jewel tones worked very well on someone with Ginny's complexion, so she'd spent what would have been a month's rent on her new wardrobe. She reached up to straighten her plaited hair once again, but her fussing came to a sudden halt as a realization made the blood drain from her face. "Oh dear," said the mirror, "there it goes again." "Ginny Weasley, who on earth are you fussing for?" she said, glaring angrily at her reflection. Periwinkle, disrupted from his nap by her tone, leapt onto the dresser in front of the mirror and fixed her with a squinty-eyed look, as though he knew what she was saying. She already knew the answer to her rhetorical question, and frowned at her familiar. "I've no reason to fuss for him, isn't that right?" Peri blinked at her, clearly in agreement. During the last two weeks, Ginny had encountered Harry several times within the castle and in Hogsmeade. He was always pleasant, even gentlemanly; however, she'd always felt as though she needed to be on guard with him. The day they'd met on the pitch had brought back more memories than she'd cared to admit: midnight flights on his Firebolt; trying to study in the library only to feel one of his stockinged feet rubbing against her ankle; that first kiss under the beech tree. That kiss, she thought, smiling despite herself. It had started as a shy, almost tentative exploration of one another's mouths, only to blossom into a sensual dance of tongues. The strength of his arm around her waist had been breathtaking, the caress of her cheek with his Quidditch-roughened hand unforgettable. And when they'd finally broken apart, the setting sun painting the sky in muted tones of pink and purple and orange, the unconscious, throaty moan he'd given had sounded like the sweetest prayer. It was the first of many such ‘prayers' that they would share with one another. It had been her dream come true – a dream that had started recurring with disturbing regularity. Ginny shook herself out of her thoughts. I'm doing it again. Remembering the long-ago past of discovery instead of the nearer-past of desertion. This has to stop. She picked up one of the letters she'd received from Christopher, focusing on his words of devotion and affection as she tried to fix his countenance in her mind's eye. A knock sounded on her door, dragging her from her thoughts. Glancing at the clock, she realized she needed to be downstairs now. With a final look in the mirror, she stroked Peri's glossy fur and opened the door. "Harry? What are you doing here?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harry jumped at the sound of her voice. He'd honestly thought she'd already headed down to the Great Hall, but he thought he'd stop by anyway. Just in case. Right. "Evening, Ginny," he said hastily, only to be horrified at his need to clear the frog that had jumped into his throat when he saw her standing in the doorway. The richness of the fabric played across her body like the deepest river. Giving his head a small shake, he swallowed. "I was heading down for the meeting and thought I would stop by and see if you'd like to walk with me." Oh, that's pathetic, Potter, but let's see if it works. "Oh," she said, her hand rising to toy with the small sapphire-blue pendant that teased her throat. "Oh, yes, that's fine, Harry, thanks. I need to get my robe, though. Won't you come in?" She stood to the side to give him room to pass. Nodding, he stepped into her rooms. The first thing he noticed was the massive fireplace heaped with logs, and what appeared to be a plush Oriental hearthrug lying in front of it. He tore his gaze away from it before his mind could wander further into contemplations of the setting's possibilities. "You've a lovely view, Ginny," he said, a little louder than he'd intended. She started as she bent to take her robe from the settee next to the fireplace. "It would be wonderful to watch the boats carrying the first years over to the castle from here, d'you reckon?" "Yes, I'd imagine so," she said, her voice sounding slightly hoarse. "Since I'll be a bit busy, I suppose Peri will enjoy the view." As though on cue, a big black cat chirped from atop the dresser. "Peri?" Harry said, walking over to offer his hand to the cat to sniff. "Short for Periwinkle," she said, smiling. "He's a Potioncat." "It's nice to meet you, Periwinkle," Harry said, stroking the cat's luxurious fur, to be rewarded with a serious head-bump and the deepest purr he'd ever heard from a cat. "A Potioncat? I've never heard of them." "They're quite rare and specialize at potion detection," Ginny said. Harry shook his head, still unclear on what that meant. "He's able to tell if a potion is good or dangerous, or even poisoned." "Brilliant," Harry said, smiling as Peri raised his chin, demanding a chin-rub. "Wish I'd had one in Snape's class. Although I'm not sure I'd've wanted to inflict Snape on this handsome boy." Ginny laughed, making shivers run down his spine. "He's actually made friends with Severus in the last couple of days, although for our Potions master, I'm certain Peri's been more of a nuisance than a help." Harry shook his head. "It's still a challenge for me to call Snape by his first name," he said ruefully. "And vice versa, it would appear. Oh well, it's of no consequence to me. I'm just thrilled I don't have to worry about being one of his students any longer." Ginny nodded. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence stretched between them as Peri glanced from one to the other, finally choosing to leap down from the dresser and curl up on the hearthrug. "Here, let me help you with this," Harry said, shaking himself out of his musings and reaching for the robe Ginny had held in her hands. She turned, lifting her braid away from her back and revealing the nape of her neck, where the smooth alabaster-white satin of her skin was broken only by a small heart-shaped mole to the right of her spine. How many times have you kissed that spot, knowing she would shiver with pleasure? he thought to himself, his mouth suddenly feeling like it was full of ashes as the lily-scented perfume she'd always favoured stirred even more memories. Hands shaking, he placed her robe onto her shoulders and stepped back quickly, somehow finding it hard to breathe. Ginny turned, her cheeks flushed and her eyes darting around the room. "Well," he said, clearing his throat, "we'd better get downstairs. The students will be here soon." They headed to the Great Hall in silence, with only the occasional ‘After you,' or ‘Excuse me' between them. As they walked, Harry kept stealing surreptitious glances at Ginny from the corner of his eye. The light of the hall torches caught the fabric of her robes, turning it into an almost-living thing. He noticed that she'd chosen not to wear a hat to cover her hair, which lay in a thick, waist-length plait down the center of her back, tied with a strip of blue-black velvet. She had only light touches of glamour along her eyelids and on her lips. Harry found himself wondering if the glistening sheen would come off if he were to run his tongue across them. This is going to be a long night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Soon, the laughter of hundreds of children echoed throughout the Great Hall as returning students settled into their seats. Ginny marveled at the scene – the view was quite different from up on the faculty dais. McGonagall had given quite the rousing speech just before the students were allowed into the Great Hall, and Ginny now found herself smiling at her earlier nerves. She was going to be fine. That was, if she was able to focus her attention on the joyful, shouting masses in front of her instead of the tall wizard sitting to her right. She had no idea what had possessed Harry to appear at her door to walk her down to the Great Hall. OK, that wasn't true – she had a very good idea why, but she'd chosen not to entertain that line of thought. It was proving to be difficult, though, for he'd shown up at her door looking positively drool-worthy. The boy she'd once known was gone, replaced by a man with grace and bearing that spoke of confidence in his powers. The added length of his hair had taken away some of its trademark unruliness; however, there remained a hint of wildness in its simplicity. The white streak shone almost silver, serving to add drama (not to mention a shade of intrigue) about his eyes, matched by the crispness of his white shirt. He wore a waistcoat of scarlet with golden embroidery, including the Gryffindor crest, which broke the unrelieved severity of his black robes and trousers. As a final touch, he wore new glasses, which were virtually invisible until he turned his head and a bright reflection flickered across the highly-polished edges of the lenses. Young ladies of Hogwarts, she'd thought to herself as they entered the Great Hall for their final staff meeting before the students arrived, you are about to be assailed with a personification of masculine beauty the likes of which hasn't been seen since the days of Gilderoy Lockhart. Merlin help us all. Her prayers were in vain. As the older students appeared in the Great Hall, audible gasps of recognition and gales of giggles bounced off the walls and ceiling. Ginny was particularly horrified to see three Gryffindor girls performing glamours – they know better than to use magic in the Great Hall! – The girls made a point of sitting as close to the staff end of their table as possible in the hopes of catching his eye. No point of that, since the new first years will be taking their seats at the near end soon enough, Ginny thought to herself with a sniff. She was pulled from her musings by the sharp bark of his laughter. Professor Sprout had turned out to be quite the comedienne and had engaged the staff with several riddles and jokes over the course of the last couple of weeks. She made a valiant effort not to roll her eyes. They were teachers, after all, not students, and should be comporting themselves with more dignity. She turned to give them a piece of her mind, only to find Harry leaning over in her direction, their faces within an inch of touching. She swallowed – this is not good. "I was," he said softly, a flush slowly turning his cheeks a muted red, "going to share Pomona's most recent joke where a ghoul, a vampire and a werewolf go into a pub." "Thanks," Ginny said, a bit hoarsely, "I heard it the other day at luncheon." "AUNTIE GINNY!" came a shout from next to the Gryffindor table. Ginny turned to see her two nephews, Patrick and Phillip, charging up the aisle towards the staff table, and beamed. She adored Percy and Penelope's children, even if they were holy terrors. "Auntie Ginny! We played the wildest trick on some of the first years at the station!" Patrick said, breathless with glee. "Uncles Gred and Forge's Skiving Snackboxes strike again!" added Phillip, slapping Patrick on the back. "Professor Delacour managed to catch on just before the carriages brought us up here," Patrick said with a scowl. "Well, it stands to reason she would, you know," Ginny said, trying to look disapproving. "She's been a friend of the family for years and victim of those snackboxes more than once, I might add. When is your detention?" "Tomorrow night. We've got to muck out the thestral paddock," Phillip said, crinkling his nose. "Hey! You're Harry Potter!" Patrick said, pointing at Harry. Phillip whipped his head around to focus on Harry. Ginny scowled and fixed both of the boys with her best teacherly glare. "Mind your manners, you two!" she snapped. "And it's ‘Professor Potter' and ‘Professor Weasley' from now until the end of the year." She flicked a glance at Harry. "My apologies, Harry." "No worries, Gin," he said smiling. "Hello, boys – it's a pleasure to meet you!" "You beat up Uncle Ron!" said Phillip, more than a little awestruck. Ginny blanched. All levity fled from Harry's voice. "Yes I did, and I'm sorry for it," he said. "Manners, you lot!" Ginny said crossly, glaring at the twins. "If I didn't know you were Percy's children, I'd swear the two of you were raised by wolves. Now, the pair of you will find your seats at the Gryffindor table, or so help me I will be forced to take points from you." The boys grinned mischievously and scrambled back to the table to take their places. Ginny turned to face Harry. "Honestly, I am sorry for that – they were showing off for their friends, I just know it." "It's all right, Ginny," Harry said, a shadow of his previous humor returning. "They can't help it if they‘re channeling Fred and George, can't they?" Ginny gave him a wan smile and nodded. "Frankly, I regret ever getting into that fight. For more reasons than one." "What do you mean?" "Well," he said, pouring himself some wine from the carafe in front of their empty plates, "obviously, hurting Ron was the last thing I wanted to do that night. Truth be told, it was wonderful to see him again. I'd had no idea how much I'd missed him until I saw him in that hallway, although I would have preferred a handshake rather than the right cross." Ginny smiled slightly. "I was furious with the both of you that night, you know," she said, looking at him over her wine goblet. "I know you were. You had every right to be." "Neither of you have ever really known your own strength," she said, her brows knitting across her forehead in a frown. "You could have done some permanent damage to yourselves." "Well, I'll promise you now that I'll not tangle with the man again," he said. "I promised as much to Minerva as part of my penance." "Penance?" she said, cocking her head to the side. "I don't understand." "We're back at Hogwarts, Gin. You didn't expect her not to level some kind of punishment for my behaviour, right?" She stared at him for several moments until it hit her. "Head of House. You were to be head of Gryffindor House, right?" He nodded, a shadow crossing his face. "Yes. Having had several days to think about it, it's really for the best, you know. I'm Quidditch referee, so it's best that I don't appear to have anything that could cloud my objectivity. Besides, I think you'll be brilliant at it, Gin. I saw the look you gave your nephews," he said, smiling as he poured some wine into her goblet, "you've got the McGonagall Glare down pat. Not to mention you've had the best tutor there is when it comes to those glares – your mum!" he said with a wink. Suddenly, the doors to the Great Hall burst open. In strode Professor Snape, black robes billowing, as he led the forty first-year students up towards the staff table. Ginny marveled at how tiny and terrified they all looked, walking in a huddle several paces behind Snape's form. The procession came to a halt in front of the steps leading to the staff table. "Gor," Harry whispered in her ear, leaning closer and bringing the scent of sandalwood and wine with him, "if Snape had been the one to lead me into the Great Hall the first time, I think I would have turned around and gone back to the Dursley's. He looks like some sort of diabolical parade leader." Ginny coughed to cover her guffaw, with little success. Snape glared at both of them before walking up the steps to stand next to an old, wooden stool upon which sat a raggedy-looking witch's hat: the Sorting Hat. Quite suddenly, the hat began to twitch, causing the first years assembled before it to jump with fright. A tear appeared along the brim of the hat a second before it sang: More than a thousand years ago Four wizards gathered here. In building Hogwarts School it's sure Their aims would soon be clear: They wanted to provide a place Where youngsters then could be Provided with the schooling that Would train their wizardry. Bold Gryffindor invited in The bravest he could find; The clever witch called Ravenclaw Sought those of ready mind; Shrewd Slytherin invited in Ambitious students all; Proud Hufflepuff took in all those Who answered to her call. To me they set the weighty task To look inside your head To see the house where you belong; I'll search from A to Zed! So step up, sit down, put me on It's easy, you will see I'll take a peek and find your place Just leave it up to me! "Clever hat," Harry shouted over the wild cheer which rang throughout the Great Hall as the hat bowed from its perch. Ginny smiled as Snape extracted the scroll from under his arm and turned to face the first years. "Come forward when your name is called," Snape said malevolently. "Ackerly, Jude!" Ginny was certain she heard a small squeak come from the front row nearest her end of the line. She peered down and saw a rather small, lovely Asian girl with long black hair shivering with fright, her eyes glued as she watched Jude climb up the steps towards the stool. "GRYFFINDOR!" the hat cried. "Adamson, Jacob!" There was something familiar about the little girl, but before she could lean over to draw Harry's attention to her, she felt his hand on her elbow. "That must be Cho's cousin, Ming," Harry said with a grin, nodding towards the girl. "She told me her little cousin would be starting school this year." "HUFFLEPUFF!" Ginny's spine straightened with what had to have been an audible snap. "You've stayed in touch with Cho?" she said, her tone low and even. She turned to find Harry peering at her with a touch of apprehension, his cheeks flushing scarlet. "Brooks, Trivia!" "She sent me a letter a few days after Skeeter's article ran in the Prophet, you know, announcing my position at Hogwarts," he said quickly. "It's the first time I've heard from her in years – since she left Hogwarts, as a matter of fact." "SLYTHERIN!" "And how are she and Michael?" Ginny said brightly, taking a sip of water and mentally kicking herself all around the room. What on earth was I thinking? I sounded like a jealous schoolgirl, for Merlin's sake. "They married a few years after they left school, right?" "Yes, they did," Harry said, and Ginny was embarrassed to see his shoulders relax. He had heard the tone. "They moved to Hong Kong. Michael heads the archeology department at Kowloon Wizarding College. Two kids, twins, about to turn seven." He put his goblet down and pinned Ginny with his eyes. "Anything else I can clear up for you?" She shook her head and turned her attention to the Sorting. "Carlin, Cyril!" "GRYFFINDOR!" "Chang, Ming…" Snape said, peering over the scroll to watch the little girl climb up the steps towards the stool, which appeared to be almost too tall for her. A small step appeared in front of the stool, giving her just enough height to grab the hat and sit down. "RAVENCLAW!" "Harry, I'm sorry," Ginny said as ‘Dougherty, Alison' was sorted into Gryffindor. She was met with silence as Harry looked at her, his eyes intent yet aloof. "Ellington, Kevin!"… "HUFFLEPUFF!"…"Elliott, Nicholas!"… "HUFFLEPUFF!"… "Fielder, Victoria!"… "RAVENCLAW!" Nervous, she continued, "It's just having you back here is so new, especially after the way you just disappeared. The thought of you staying in touch with someone in our world, yet…" "Cutting you and your family off with nothing more than an ‘I'm sorry'…yeah, I can see where this is going," he said quickly, turning to watch the first years scamper from stool to House table. "Finnegan, Robin"… "GRYFFINDOR!" "Gin, during my absence the only people I stayed in touch with from our world were Sirius, Remus and Minerva, though letters from her were few and far between. Those were mostly involving Dumbledore's estate and its execution in relation to the school." A frown crossed his features. "Remus was his executor, but he left me as his heir." Ginny blinked. "I had no idea, Harry," she said, laying her hand on his arm. He stiffened, which caused her to remove her hand and place it in her lap. Focus on the Sorting, Ginny. They sat in silence as Snape worked his way through the remaining students until he read "Youngblood, Hannah!" off his list. The Sorting Hat cried "RAVENCLAW!" one last time before bowing to the four tables and falling silent. Snape picked up the stool and hat and moved them over to one side of the staff table before taking his seat next to McGonagall, who rose to her feet. "Welcome to Hogwarts, our new and returning students! Before we begin our fine feast we have some start-of-term notices to announce. Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you, yet again, that the Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds to all students. Third-years who wish to participate in the Hogsmeade weekends, please turn in your permission forms to your Head of House by tomorrow morning. "We have some new staff we would like to introduce to you now. Professor Potter will be our new Astronomy Professor and Master of Flight, so Quidditch captains, please contact Professor Potter by the end of the week. Those of you who have studied the history of Hogwarts will know Professor Potter was quite the accomplished Quidditch player while he was here in school, so we will look forward to a wonderful season!" There was a great deal of applause and cheering as Harry raised his hand to wave at the students. Ginny noticed that the same girls who'd performed glamours upon themselves standing and clapping the loudest. She rolled her eyes. "Professor Weasley will be our Charms professor," McGonagall continued. "She will also be assisting Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing as needed and will serve at Gryffindor's new Head of House!" The cheer rising from the Gryffindor table was riotous, and Ginny suspected her nephews had had something to do with that. She was certain her face was the color of ripe tomatoes as she rose slightly from her seat and waved in appreciation. "With that," McGonagall said, "let us begin, everyone!" The tables erupted with plates and plates of succulent roasts, hams, puddings and desserts. At the staff table, the wine decanters were refilled. A pot of tea appeared before the Headmistress, reminding Ginny that she had the ability to request a beverage of her choosing. "Butterbeer, please," she whispered. Instantly, a frosty mug of butterbeer appeared in front of her, causing her to smile with glee. "Wine not to your liking?" Harry said, startling her yet again with his closeness. "No," she said, "just had enough for one evening." "Gin, I'm sorry for cutting you off just now," Harry said softly. "I just didn't think it was the time or place to get into a discussion about the past." He paused, placing a slice of roast onto his plate. "But, if you'd like to talk about it sometime, just let me know. I think we've got to at some point." With that, he turned back to start eating, leaving Ginny more than a little bewildered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Despite the fact he would have twenty-five students in his classroom in less than five minutes, Harry stared, lost in thought, out of his office window. He was prepared – his lesson plans were downstairs on his desk, the homework assignments for each of his classes were written on the chalkboard and, if the weather held through the week, they would have a perfect night for their first practicum. Furthermore, this wouldn't be the first time he'd been responsible for a class – he'd taught several undergraduate classes while studying for his advanced degrees at Oxford. His pre-occupation had nothing to do with the impending arrival of the first years – it had everything to do with Ginny. They'd begun a tenuous dance around the realm of friendship over the two weeks they had both been in the castle. Many times he'd wondered if he should broach the subject of his leaving – as he'd said the night before, they'd have to do it at some point. Yet something had held him back from the brink of total honesty. At first, he was afraid that bringing up the subject would make their fragile détente fracture. As the days went by, however, he'd known the real reason for his reticence. It only became clearer the longer he spent time back in the castle. It was the memories. Harry had lost count of the number of times he'd experienced momentary feelings of panic similar to what he'd felt that first day when he'd come to accept his teaching position. He'd been walking along the seventh-floor corridor and had come across Barnabas the Barmy's tapestry, which marked the entrance to the Room of Requirement. He must have been thinking about his days in the DA Room, because a door appeared and slowly creaked open, revealing the room as it had been set up for their clandestine classes. He'd smiled as he remembered watching his DA students' faces as they'd cast the Patronus Charm; of Neville's vast improvement; of his first, bumbling kiss with Cho under the mistletoe. Then the memories had changed, turned darker, as he and Dumbledore had used the room to work on their search through the spellbooks they'd discovered. They'd needed absolute secrecy and the room had obliged, sealing them in for hours at a time and resisting any attempts from the outside to disturb them. It was here that they'd discovered Benevolentia Convince Maleficus, the spell they would later use against Voldemort. It was here that they'd had learned what had to happen for the spell to be effective – that one of them would have to be sacrificed. For weeks, the two heirs practiced the spell and incantations that had to be said in precise order, with Dumbledore taking the lead, having assumed the role of the one to be sacrificed. But Harry'd had other ideas: it was with this spell he'd hoped he would find his redemption. For it was also here, in the months preceding Voldemort's demise, that he'd returned, heart-sick yet exuberant, after he'd murdered Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. And the horror, both of the act and of the exuberant joy of having committed it, would never leave him. Only his death could expiate that guilt – and Dumbledore had taken that road from him. Shaken, he hung his head, thinking of all that he'd felt for Ginny the night before. He had no business thinking of her as anything more than a friend, not after what he'd done that night at Malfoy Manor. Even if there weren't the specter of a competitor for her affections, his actions left him stained; unredeemable. The door to Harry's classroom slammed as it was flung open, bringing the laughter of his first class in from the outer hallway. He flinched, raising shaky hands to rub over his face, damp with sweat. His stomach lurched, not from nerves, but from horror over what he'd done that night so long ago. He poured himself a glass of water, willing his stomach to calm itself. This was not the time to rehash the past. He had a class to teach. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Notes: Thank you, everyone, who've hung around to read this chapter. I don't know why it was so hard to put together, but I hope I don't wind up sitting on another chapter as long as I did this one ever again. (beta note: I'll own up to more than a week of that delay being my fault *gulp* - Ahmie) BJ, I hope this chapter answers a few questions for you! ; ) Thanks for hanging in with me until now to learn Harry's reasons for leaving. A hearty "welcome back" to my official beta Ahmie – I've missed you and it's great to be working with you again. God bless the folks at HP Lexicon. I would have lost my mind if it weren't for them. If you haven't already visited, be sure to do so at http://www.hp-lexicon.org/index-2.html. A HUGE, sloppy, mushy thank you to my friend and pre-beta Aibhinn for her very clever sorting hat song! It just sort of "came" to her while she was between meetings one day. Color me green with envy, people – I wish I could write this kind of stuff on the back of napkins and scraps of paper rather than resorting to complicated tables. Just another case of the left side of my brain taking over again. In addition, I need to thank Aibhinn, Kristi, Cindy, Robin and Andrew for their help with the names for the students. I couldn't have done it without you! J Finally, the events of the past two weeks have been traumatic for all of us associated to Gryffindor Tower. While I'd read Harry Potter fan fiction at Sugar Quill for a year prior to discovering GT, it wasn't until I was neck-deep in outstanding GT fics that I'd even begun to think about writing one of my own. I will always be thankful to GT for helping me re-discover my love for the creative writing process. Farewell, GT.net. For those of you who have decided to join us as we embark on our new adventure here at PhoenixSong I look forward to getting to know you better and sharing our love and appreciation of JK Rowling's brilliant work and what it inspires us to do.
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