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pixiellie
Monday 30th August 2004 15:10 | That Muted Sort of Longing | Dear Serendipity,
I have just begun to read your work, That Muted Sense of Longing and wanted to send off a quick review. What a wonderful start to a story. Your narration gives the reader an introspective view into the mind of Ginny, not as a typical teen enjoying her summer, but as a young woman dealing with the aftermath of a life altering battle. Her realization of the pain others are feeling was incredibly poignant. I was moved by the symbol of the foil wrapper, and her thoughts of Neville’s quiet pain.
I especially like your take on Ginny’s crush. It’s interesting to see her analyze her reactions to Harry and her past behavior. It is hard to get over that first love, more so when he’s so intertwined with your life.
Nice use of humor in the middle of her ruminations. I love the post mortum on her relationship with Michael, and her renaming Harry: “The boy who was Daft.”
Although I haven’t read through the whole story yet, I feel you capture the angst of loving from afar quite well, as well as the warm emotion of being included.
My favorite scene, (although the quidditch game is a close second.) is where Ginny describes Ron’s chess set revolt to a sleeping Harry. You do an excellent job portraying Ginny’s humor, caring and maturity. She would want to reach out to him, but is self aware enough to know it would be a mistake. And when he wakes up and brushes by her, great scene. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read something that evoked this much, I don’t know, sympathetic yearning. I’m having a hard time describing my reaction to this piece, but that’s my failure as a reviewer rather than yours as a writer. You bring your point across very well, I just can’t express what I felt. (There’s a reason I don’t write fiction. Grin.)
Then, the Game! I love Tonk’s teasing Hermione, and the Twins up to their usual beating tricks. Ginny’s fearless race to beat Harry to the snitch was great- made better by Ron’s terror. I’m glad to see you portray Harry as a good sport, rather than sulking and accusing Ginny for her “little” cheat. I loved that he grabs her and swings her around to celebrate, and the teasing was very sweet.
I should have known it was to good to be true, as the last line of the chapter puts a lump in my throat. I do hope Ginny hasn’t lost what little ground she’s gained in her friendship with Harry. I’ll be reading this story for the next week, (in between packing for school) and will post my reviews as I go, so if I comment on something that gets addressed next installment, please disregard.
As far as the more technical aspects of the story, I can find no fault. Your grammar, spelling and structure are all very tight. I notice you use very little dialogue, but as this is an establishing chapter, you may have chosen that intentionally. I certainly feel I know Ginny better now than from anything I have previously read. All in all, Seeking Harry was a charming read, and can’t wait to get to chapter 2. Thank you for taking the time to write and post something for the rest of us to enjoy, you are very brave, and I appreciate it. Pass along my thanks to your beta as well. Best regards,
Pix’ellie
ellie
pixielliemay@yahoo.com | minerla
Monday 26th July 2004 23:38 | That Muted Sort of Longing | | This is one of the best stories I've even read. Just seeing your name in the list on the side makes my day. I will never forget the feeling I had when "Harry Potter changed his mind." I am thrilled that you are updating so often now. My husband went to law school, so I know what an effort it is to continue. Please keep on writing! I love your story and look forward to it being continued every day! | Calixa
Wednesday 14th July 2004 12:11 | That Muted Sort of Longing | Serendipity? You're a genius. I started reading this fic ages ago but then I heard that you'd gone off to Law School and wouldn't be updating for a long time. I feared that it would end up being incomplete, so I stopped because I would end up getting attached (I think I already am!). But you're back, you're right on form, and I'm loving it!
Your characterization of Ginny is wonderful. She's definitely growing up, but there's still that wonderful little streak of innocence in her that appealed to me in the first place. I think you've captured her perfectly! That, and it's almost impossible not to relate to her when she thinks about her relationship with Harry. How many of us haven't been in that particular situation? |
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