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gymnastgal19
Tuesday 23rd September 2008 21:31 | A Season for Closure | | nundu
Monday 12th May 2008 10:37 | A Season for Closure | | I agree with several other reviewers. The smoking and cursing seemed over the top and just an effort to make them seem more 'mature'. That sort of thing is much more effective if used sparingly. If an action or behaviour does not advance the plot or define the character it should be eliminated. Both behaviours seem too extreme for the Ron and Harry of JKR's writings. | apollo13
Saturday 3rd May 2008 11:41 | A Season for Closure | Good, but why did they have to smoke? I mean, I understand that they're adults and stuff, but it was almost like glorifying it.
>. | gymnastgal19
Monday 14th April 2008 15:35 | A Season for Closure | huh interesting... it was kinda odd... not really a plot there... unless im missing it lol
| kenkaopt
Saturday 12th April 2008 05:58 | A Season for Closure | | A very good way of putting the guys in their place, i like it and will enjoy more to come..... good work! | ngayonatkailanman
Friday 11th April 2008 05:33 | A Season for Closure | You are a very good writer so it really would not make an iota of difference if you could possibly tone down the effings, etc.. My reasoning is this: Harry grew in a middle class environment where he would have suffered for even using 1 bad language for the first 10 years of his life which is extremely impressionable so what he learnt as a child would have carried on to his adulthood whether he likes it or not. Ron does swear but Mrs. Weasley did curtail these in the books and so did Hermione. S' urrey and Oxford (Harry and Hermione's areas "were" unfortunately, rather "classy" areas to live during the period of JKR''s HP times - 1990s).
Please do not take this the wrong way. Swearing does exist and does happen but you have used so many in your writing that it kind of cover up your excellent writing skills.
The smoking is understandable due to the tension and stress but hopefully, this too will go. You will find that smoking in eating areas is now unlawful in England. But you probably know this already. | | Friday 11th April 2008 13:13 | A Season for Closure (Author Response) | I don't take it the wrong way. You have very valid criticism, and I will respond to it in the hopes that you'll be able to understand where I was coming from and hopefully enjoy the story a bit more.
You'll notice that Ron & Harry use profanity when they are drunk. I've no idea what your experience is, but in mine... when people get drunk, they get much "looser" than they normally would be in the normal course of things. I am sorry that the cursing offended you, but I thought it felt very natural to the setting of the story -- which is a post-Hogwarts that is not as rosy as the epilogue. It will get that way, but England has to rebuild a little first.
As for the smoking, you are absolutely right. It's a habit Harry picked up in Auror training that helped him relax. Ron followed. Doesn't mean that they are life-long smokers, it just means that they are living in stressful times. | Grandma Kate
Wednesday 9th April 2008 21:17 | A Season for Closure | | Fast paced and well written. As ever. | ProfessorBinns
Wednesday 9th April 2008 19:02 | A Season for Closure | | Love the letter from Ginny! |
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