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Author: Wings Story: Heart of Gold Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-DH Status: WIP Reviews: 1 Words: 121,987
~~~~~~ Fall began quickly for Regulus, his life settling into a new kind of routine as the leaves changed. He woke at seven each day and spent an hour preparing, running through a list in his mind of what he had to complete that day both at work and in the service of the Dark Lord. Luckily, those two jobs usually coincided. He walked in the door at exactly fifteen before nine, just in time to catch Lily before most everyone else arrived, but also leaving a short enough margin so that their conversations never lasted longer than a few minutes. By mid-September, he had already gathered enough facts to be able to sketch a life portrait of her in his head: born into a Muggle family, had a talent for charms all throughout school, not close friends with James or Sirius until their seventh year, and a strong proponent of blood equality. His goal throughout each conversation with her was to leave out as much detail about himself as possible, but this was getting much more difficult as the month drew to a close. He walked into the office at his usual time one Thursday morning and she greeted him with her usual cheerful smile. “Good morning,” she said as she shoved a stack of papers aside in order to see him better. “On time again, I see.” He laughed lightly and agreed, “Well, I have been trying, you know. I’ve found that I get a lot more done this way. How is everything going with you?” Lily brushed a bit of hair behind an ear as she said, “Nothing much new. James and I are looking for a better place to live. We’d like to get out of our London flat, you see. It’s nice to be in the city, but it’s so expensive and we feel like we would probably be safer elsewhere.” “You’re worried about being attacked?” Regulus asked curiously. “Well, not attacked, per se,” Lily explained. “At least not today, but one hears rumours. It almost feels like the entire wizarding world is going to turn into a war zone before long.” He shook his head. “Now, that’s just silly. You’re an assistant for a Ministry employee and James is a…what does he do again?” “Training to be an Auror,” Lily reminded him. “You’re right about my job, but he’s doing something dangerous that could potentially make him a target for Voldemort.” Regulus was taken aback at her use of his full name but tried his best to keep a straight face as she continued. “There’s also the fact that I’m not exactly what one would consider Pureblood,” she said softly. “I see what you mean,” he admitted. “Where are you looking to live? Would you not be a member of the department anymore?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Somewhere in the country, I should think. Not near the city at least. We’re still not sure of a direction, and there’s always his parents’ house.” “Are his parents no longer residents of the house?” he questioned, leaning on the side of her desk a little to make their conversation seem more personal. Lily bit her lip and said, “Not anymore. They both died last year. They had James very late in life so they were quite old for wizards. James is technically the owner of their house, but we haven’t lived there because it is a bit painful for him to be there without his parents, and we’re closer to work by living in London.” “Yeah, I’m not sure if I would be able to live in my parents’ house if they died either,” Regulus admitted without realizing that he was bringing himself into the conversation. “You’re their only heir now, right? I mean, since they no longer consider Sirius their son,” Lily asked quickly. “That’s right,” Regulus said, trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy her enough to not ask many further questions. “If they were to die I would receive everything, as far as I know. I mean, there may be some distant cousin that I have no knowledge of who might get something, too. As long as I manage to keep them happy, I should be set for life.” He looked down at her conflicted face, towering over her as she remained sitting in the chair. She looked very confused by his simple statement, probably because of Sirius. “It’s just so strange to hear you talk about them,” she admitted. “Sirius either never does or does only with disdain. You talk about them as if they’re nothing to you. I mean, obviously they must mean something to you because they’re your parents, but really it seems like you only think of them as a repository of money and influence.” “It’s not like they were ever the prime example of love and affection,” he pointed out. “I mean, you’ve never met my mother, but James has. He could describe her to you very well I’m sure. Sirius has just never been smart about the way that he interacts with them, that’s why he got disowned.” “It’s not right,” she said matter-of-factly. “You know it’s not.” Regulus insisted otherwise, “He knew what he was doing. I couldn’t have stopped him or them from doing what they did. They’re too different and they’ve been set against each another ever since I can remember. What would you have me do, Lily?” “I just think that you’re missing out on the life of someone who should be important to you,” she explained, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. “It amazes me to think that you probably know more about me just from talking to me for ten minutes at the beginning of each day for the past month than you know about your own brother, whom you probably haven’t spoken to in at least a year.” “Sometimes it’s harder to talk to your own family than it is to talk to a complete stranger,” Regulus stated, feeling his heart begin to pound. “I think you secretly miss him and you wish that you could talk to him and that’s why you talk to me,” she suddenly exclaimed. “I think that hearing about my life and James’ life, the life of Sirius’ best mate, makes you feel closer to him. Why don’t you just ring him and ask to go to dinner in a pub? Meet him in Covent Garden or something, somewhere that has a lot of restaurants, a lot of people, and not wizards who would see you and spread rumours that might reach your parents.” He shrugged and shook his head. “I can’t, not now. Maybe someday, but probably not. My parents are alive and well. They aren’t going anywhere soon, and there is way too much at stake should they ever find out that I did something like that. Hell, there’s way too much at stake for them ever to find out that I’ve even thought about it. I should just go into work.” “Suit yourself,” she said, disappointed. “But I’m still right.” “Maybe you are,” he said as he picked up his bag. “But I doubt we’ll ever find out.” He wished her a good day and felt a bit guilty as she turned to her work and he followed the familiar path to his desk. That was the first time that she had really been able to bother him ethically since the day they met a few weeks prior. He felt awkward around her every time Sirius came into the conversation. What did she expect him to do? There was no way that he could be close to his brother if he hoped to succeed. His parents would quickly disown him if he followed in Sirius’ path, and though the Dark Lord would likely be pleased with a spy close to his wild brother, Severus had already made it clear that that was Peter’s role. He wondered if Lily had any idea that Peter was a Death Eater. In all likelihood, she had no idea that two of the men she was becoming close to were in service against her work. Did it bother James that she talked to Regulus every morning? Did James even know? It was the Dark Lord’s goal to get close to Dumbledore’s mysterious organisation through Lily. How angry would she be if she knew the truth? Looks like I’m just letting everybody down, he thought grimly to himself. Everybody but the Dark Lord. The ethical battles in his mind were getting no closer to a conclusion even four months after they had begun. He still felt that he was doing the right thing by being in the service of the Dark Lord, but he also knew that half of the people closest to him would feel utterly betrayed if they knew the truth. A message appeared on his desk from the front office. Camden had decided that owls would no longer be allowed to fly through her section of the department after a fifth pile of important documents was destroyed when an owl miscalculated his landing speed and bowled right through them, poking holes with his talons and littering the office with scraps of paper and feathers. Jacks had tried to convince her to use a filing cabinet instead of stacking papers all over the office, but she insisted that the problem could be solved by keeping owls out of her section of the building. Regulus picked up the little scroll and unfurled it to reveal his father’s handwriting, inviting him to dinner the following night. Demanding, more like, he thought to himself, but he knew that it would be a good idea. Perhaps he could talk to Orion about how he dealt with questions about Sirius. After all, his parents were the ones who had disowned him in the first place and his father knew plenty of adult wizards who were against the decision. As far as he knew, his parents were not Death Eaters, but they were definitely Pureblood sympathizers. They had to be able to give him some sort of advice, even if they did not openly seek to be in his life on a regular basis. He wrote back an affirmative response to his father and went back to his work. Finally, round three o’clock, he finished the project that he had been working on since he started work. The filing system was complete. He leaned back in his chair and whispered at Alec, “Alec! I’ve finished!” “Have you now? Well, that’s wonderful,” the older wizard told him. “Congratulations. Maybe now you’ll be able to move on to bigger and better things.” “Yeah, I’m going to go let Jacks know,” Regulus exclaimed. He placed the final card into the cabinet and carried it over to where his new system stood, against a wall near the back of the department. He fixed himself a cup of tea on his way to Jacks’ office and knocked firmly on the doorframe while he waited for Jacks to turn around. Jacks spun in his chair and greeted Regulus with a smile. “Well, good afternoon. What brings you over here?” “I’ve finally finished, sir,” Regulus explained. “The filing system is complete. I wasn’t sure what to do next, to be completely honest.” “Well done, I’m proud of you for sticking through it,” Jacks encouraged him as he waved him into a chair on the opposite side of his desk. “I suppose you’d like some direction as to where I’d like to place you in the future.” Regulus nodded and admitted, “I had hoped that I would be able to do something a bit more experiential and a bit less routine.” “Everything takes time, but I think that you have proved your willingness to do hard work even when you do not always enjoy your task,” Jacks proclaimed. “I’d be happy to include you on something more experimental. In fact, one of our senior researchers, Richard Thomas, is starting on a new project just now. He’s been trying to gather a team of genuinely interested individuals, but has been finding that most of the department is involved in other projects. Let’s go see if he can use you.” “Right now?” “Right now. Come on.” And Jacks was off, leading Regulus through the labyrinth of doors to the other side of the department, where he had yet to venture, to the large office of Richard Thomas, a middle-aged man of African descent who had previously been involved in security projects for the Department of Law Enforcement. Regulus had heard other members of the department mention his name on occasion, but had never laid eyes on the man. He was pacing the room with a notepad and pencil as they approached. Jacks rapped on the half-open door and Thomas jumped a little as he came out of his reverie, apparently not expecting visitors at that hour of the day. “All right, Richard?” Jacks asked cautiously. “We didn’t mean to startle you.” Thomas stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed and shook his head. “No, I’m fine, Jacks. Sorry, I was deep in thought about the new project. I’m still processing potential candidates and the amount of work that I need to get done for it.” He seemed to notice Regulus for the first time as he continued. “Who is this young chap?” Jacks stepped aside to allow Regulus into the conversation and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. “This is Regulus Black, one of our new, promising members of the department. He joined us in early July, soon after leaving Hogwarts School.” “How do you do, Mr. Black?” Thomas asked, extending his hand in greeting. Regulus shook it firmly, hoping to convey a sense of maturity and not allow Thomas to think of him any less because of his age. “Very well, thank you, sir,” Regulus replied politely. Thomas motioned toward a table and chairs at the other end of the room and all three of them sat down. He conjured a tea kettle, cups, and a plate of biscuits and poured them each a cup. Jacks took a sip and then got down to business. “I think that Regulus would make an excellent addition to your team.” “Do you, now?” Thomas commented as he turned to Regulus. “What have you done for the department so far?” “Well, all I’ve really done is the new cataloguing system for the spells at the other end of the offices,” Regulus said meekly. “But I was at the top of my class for almost all of my subjects, and I received excellent N.E.W.T. marks. I really want to get involved in the experimental aspect of spells. That’s why I applied for a job here.” “I’m looking for a team of people who will be devoted to our work, but also secretive. These are spells that will be useful very soon, I am convinced,” Thomas explained. “If you feel that you will not be able to give your time and energy to discovering new solutions and methods, or that you have potential conflicts of interest that would keep you from contributing positively to our work, then you should say so right now.” Conflicts of interest? Regulus was sure that Thomas would consider being a Death Eater a “potential conflict of interest,” but he could not very well reveal that fact. Coming from a family involved in the Dark Arts was another potential deterring factor. But other than that, Regulus could not think of very many organisations that would disqualify him from working with this man. And he was not about to let those particular conflicts get in his way. He cleared his throat and assured his superiors, “I intend to be fully devoted to the work of this department, and I am very sure that I do not have any conflicts of interest that would get in the way. This is something that I have wanted to do for a very long time, and I am interested in doing well and in serving the greater wizarding community.” Good thing that I can serve the community by spreading these plans to the Dark Lord, he thought to himself with delight. He was fulfilling his original mission and his new mission both in the same day without any help from Severus. Surely Lord Voldemort would view his actions favourably and allow him to know about more exciting projects. Perhaps the spells that he developed with Thomas could be used by the Death Eaters in their noble quest for a better future. He could not wait to hear about what the project was. “What exactly are you working on?” he asked eagerly. Thomas cleared his throat and explained, “Well, I haven’t accepted you definitely yet. I still have to consider several other potentials that have more experience than you do, so please do not feel personally slighted if I do not end up picking you for this position. That said, we’re working on fusing my experience with law enforcement and charms to create stronger spells for use in battle-type situations.” Regulus felt his pulse race. This was exactly the type of thing that the Dark Lord would want to know about! And he was the one who would get to deliver the information. He was determined: he had to be chosen for this job. “That’s brilliant,” he exclaimed. “Do you have any idea of specific spells or fusions of charms that you’ll be developing?” “We’re considering charms and spells that have to do with shielding and charming areas to make them more acceptable to our standards,” Thomas said cryptically. Regulus furrowed a brow. “You mean spells that will favour our side in a battle, or that will create maximum security around an object or area?” Thomas smiled and nodded. “Exactly right. Well done. Perhaps you’re smarter than I first thought.” “Do you think you can use him? I think that he has shown a lot of promise and that he could really be an asset to your team,” Jacks said sincerely. “I’m still assembling the team, but I think that there is a good chance that you’ll be able to start your career off with this one, Mr. Black,” Thomas said. “Do you mind if I take the weekend to think it over? I should be able to post the names of my team members this Monday morning.” Regulus nodded as he replied, “Of course, sir. And please, call me Regulus.” “Regulus. That sounds good to me,” Thomas agreed. “Well, Jacks, you’ve really helped me out. Thanks for the tip.” “Oh, it’s my pleasure,” Jacks assured him. “We’ll leave you now to figure out whatever you were puzzling over when we interrupted you.” Both men stood and shook hands, so Regulus followed suit. “Thank you for your consideration, sir,” he said as he shook Thomas’ hand firmly again. “I’ll look forward to your response this Monday morning.” “Have a good weekend,” Thomas said as he returned the handshake and then seemed to slip back into his thoughts. Regulus followed Jacks’ lead out of the room and back toward his office. “Thanks for working so hard on that catalogue this summer,” Jacks said sincerely. “It’s been a big help to us all, and you worked so diligently and complained so little. I know that it must have been very time consuming and boring for you, considering the marks that you received from Hogwarts. You’re a very hard-working individual and I’m very glad to have you as part of our team.” Regulus replied nonchalantly, “It was no problem, my pleasure. I’m just glad that I have the opportunity to move on to bigger and better things now. Thomas’ project sounds incredible. I really hope that I have the opportunity to work with him.” “I am fairly certain that you will,” Jacks assured him. “He just doesn’t want to give you the job without making you sweat a little. Tell you what. Why don’t you take off the rest of today and tomorrow, and then come into the office this Monday ready to tackle your new assignment.” Regulus nodded. “That works for me. Thanks again. It really means a lot to me that you’re including me in the experimental aspect of the department.” “You’ve proven yourself, as far as I’m concerned,” Jacks replied. “I feel like I can place more trust in you. I hope that you won’t let me down.” “I’ll do my best not to,” Regulus promised. “Good, have a wonderful weekend,” Jacks said as he extended a hand to Regulus as well. Regulus shook it, nodded his thanks, and returned to his office to pack up for the day. “How did it go?” Alec asked him expectantly. “Brilliant!” Regulus nearly yelped. “I’m probably going to get to work with Richard Thomas on his new project!” “Impressive, very impressive,” Alec replied. “I’m really happy for you. Congratulations. I’m sure your parents will be very proud of you. You’ve really done well for yourself for being under the stress that you have been with your family, Liam, Liam’s family, and finishing school. You have some talent, Regulus. I’m glad that you aren’t squandering it like so many young people do.” Regulus grinned and started packing up his bag. “Well, I’m off. Jacks gave me the rest of today and tomorrow to rest and get ready for the busy months ahead. I hope you have a good weekend, and I’ll see you bright and early Monday morning.” “Cheers, congratulations again,” Alec said as Regulus finished packing, donned his cloak, and hurried toward the door. He said goodbye to Lily lightly on the way out and headed for home as quickly as possible, not realizing that he really had no one else to tell his news until he got there. His flat seemed small and empty for the first time since Liam had left. Liam had been the first person to find out about his job opportunity at the Department of Spells and Charms. It only seemed fit that he should be the next to know about this recent upgrade in status, but he was of course nowhere to be found. He was in Ireland, nursing his wounds over Regulus’ supposed betrayal. For a moment Regulus felt angry that Liam had left him there all by himself, but then felt better when he remembered that this raise would make him look better in the eyes of the Dark Lord, which would in turn benefit him when the Dark Lord finally took power and changed the current corrupt government. In the long run, this promotion would benefit Liam, even if he did not know it yet. He busied himself with a cup of tea and stared at the wall, wondering what he was going to do. Regulus had nowhere to go and nobody to see. He was literally alone. For the first time since Liam left, it registered that there was no one else in the world who would think it odd to receive a random call from Regulus Black. Even his parents would think it out of the ordinary for Regulus to show up a day early for dinner, and he had told Alec that he would not see him again until Monday. It would not do to show up on his doorstep unannounced and uninvited, even if he had been invited in the past. His only other quasi-friend was Lily Potter, and there was no question of whether or not he was able to tell her his news. The walls of the flat started to seem confining, closing him in from the rest of the world. Regulus usually felt that the flat was a safe haven from the monotony of work and the incessant waiting to do the Dark Lord’s bidding, but tonight they felt more like a white-washed cage keeping him away from the rest of the world. Was work all that his life was? It did not matter whether he was doing something for Jacks or for Lord Voldemort – he was doing nothing for himself. Except ensuring yourself a better future, the voice reminded him. He played with the tea cup in his hands, watching it grow colder as the steam ceased rising from the still surface of the liquid. He knew he was doing the right thing, but he wished that he had someone to do it with besides Severus. Severus was not an equal, rather, he was an opponent. He was trying to use Regulus’ success to get closer to the Dark Lord, Regulus was sure of it. As soon as he succeeded in his assignment to glean information from Lily and as soon as he reported his success in gaining access to an important project in the Department of Spells and Charms, Severus would take all of the credit. But Jacks declined to give Severus the job, the voice said again. This was true. Somehow, Regulus had managed to beat Severus out of the contest. Jacks trusted him more and he had shown more promise than most students just out of school, Alec had told him that. Regulus had a gift, an affinity for his work. What he was doing was worthwhile, even if it was keeping him from having any sort of life outside of his work. Still, it did not make it any easier to come home to plain white walls. He finished the now-chilled tea and decided to go to the Leaky Cauldron for dinner. It would be a good idea to maintain appearances in Diagon Alley, especially if he was trying to prove to the world that he was not a Death Eater. It would not do to walk through only when he was heading for the pub down Knockturn Alley. Perhaps he would meet a lovely girl and enjoy conversation with her for a bit, if for no other reason than to take his mind off the fact that he was alone. Truly, utterly alone. ~~~~~~ The next morning came before he wished it to. The Leaky Cauldron was entertaining and he met some interesting girls, but none of whom had really struck his fancy. Dating had never been one of his strong subjects at school; that was more Sirius’ thing. He was not sure he had ever had much of an extended conversation with a girl, other than Lily Potter, and she was married. He had a few light-hearted conversations at the pub and then sat with a group of young wizards to discuss Quidditch teams and upcoming matches. It was nice to have a night to just be a normal, budding wizard making his way in the world. Too soon, it was back to reality. He slept much of Friday away, enjoying the longest stretch of sleep that he had had for a long time. About six o’clock he decided to get ready for dinner with his parents, and arrived at Twelve Grimmauld Place promptly at seven. Kreacher welcomed him almost-warmly into the house. He was usually civil toward Regulus because he was favoured over Sirius by Mrs. Black, but his loyalties clearly lay with his beloved mistress. Regulus would never have his full admiration, he knew. Still, it was almost a consolation to know that he could be welcomed positively somewhere in the world. He took a seat at the long dining room table, set for three, and reflected on the changes since he had last sat in this room. What would he say to his parents about the situation with Liam? He still did not know whether or not they would support the Dark Lord publicly, even if they were public about their Pureblood sympathies. Could he reveal his loyalties, or would they be disappointed that he had allowed such sympathies to become known to his Mudblood roommate? It would have been better to have kept Liam close, at least to know what he was doing with his life. As it was, Liam could be building up evidence and an army to oppose Regulus and the Dark Lord, and he would never know because he was daft enough to leave the sketches sitting on his desk because he was drunk. Kreacher brought a tray bearing a silver goblet filled with a sweet, dark red wine. Regulus took it gladly and gulped it a bit, coughing as it burned the back of his throat. He always forgot that wine could not be consumed as quickly as the lager he favoured at the pubs and had to remind himself to savour the rich taste of the fermented grapes. He stared at the black marble top of the table, wondering when his parents would choose to come down to dinner. Five minutes passed before the door at the opposite end of the room opened to reveal Orion Black, perfectly dressed for the occasion. Regulus rose to honour his father who crossed the room and shook his hand. “Good evening, son. I’m glad you are able to join me tonight,” Mr. Black said somewhat stiffly. Regulus smiled warmly and replied, “Thank you for the invitation. I have been wondering about you and Mother and how you have been holding up since I left school.” “We’ve managed. Please, sit down again,” Mr. Black said as he motioned to the chairs at the table. “Your mother is unfortunately unable to join us. Apparently Narcissa needed her tonight. She’s getting married soon, did you know that? To Lucius Malfoy. She decided that Bellatrix was not the best example of a good wife, and talking to Andromeda was out of the question, so your mother was the next best person to talk to about her woes.” “I’m glad Mother could be of assistance to her, though I have no idea what she might need help for,” Regulus admitted with a laugh. “I don’t really know much about this whole marriage thing.” Mr. Black laughed and broke the uncomfortable stillness of the room. “Yes, it is still somewhat of a mystery to me as well. I don’t know how the women can manage to come up with so many problems in planning for this kind of thing.” He signalled to Kreacher to bring out the first course, a steaming tomato bisque, along with some bread. Dinners at the Black house were always long affairs. Regulus sat forward in the chair to be able to eat more comfortably. “You know, you might consider thinking about the ‘whole marriage thing’ yourself,” his father said absently between spoonfuls of soup. Regulus nearly choked on his food. “Me? Father, I just left school.” Mr. Black continued spooning the creamy soup into his mouth, narrowly missing his thick, silver beard when a drop fell from the spoon. He looked at his son with examining eyes and said, “Regulus, I’m getting old. When I die, my whole estate will be passed on to you, including this house, our country home, and all of my assets. If you’ve ever considered marrying for anything other than finding a convenient Pureblood match who also has a good deal of money, or sifting through suitors wanting your fortune, I would do it before you inherit. Afterwards it will be your mother in charge and she’ll see to it that you get matched with some girl to her liking, which may not be to yours.” Regulus watched the steam rising from the soup for a moment while he considered this new thought. Of course his parents would be concerned with passing on the family fortune, but they had spent years grooming Sirius for that position before the boys had been sent off to school. Regulus had never had Pureblood lineage drilled into his head the way Sirius had, resulting in his running away and subsequent disinheritance. Now they would be looking to him to find a wife and carry on the family line. What a headache… “I’ve honestly never thought about it before,” Regulus admitted to his father. “I mean, sure, I’ve thought about girls plenty, but not about marriage, and certainly not about finding someone suitable for carrying on the family line.” “It’s just something to consider. I have no idea when you’ll really need to pursue this, but I’m just warning you that it may come sooner than you think,” Mr. Black said as he finished his soup and motioned for Kreacher to bring out another course. Regulus leaned back and allowed his half-eaten soup to be taken away and replaced by a plate holding beef Wellington, boiled potatoes, and buttered sprouts. He reached for another piece of bread and slathered it with butter. Marriage? He had too many other things to worry about, and he was eighteen years old. Maybe that was all right for Lily and James, or for Narcissa and Lucius, but marriage right then was not exactly high on his priority list. “How is your job going?” Mr. Black asked as he cut into his beef. “Wonderfully well, actually,” Regulus replied eagerly, glad for the change of subject. “I finally finished work on a cataloguing project they’ve had me on since July and my supervisor, Tobias Jackson, introduced me to a man named Richard Thomas who has done a lot of work on defensive and offensive spells. I don’t really know yet what his new project is going to be, but he’s considering me for the team. They said that they would let me know on Monday morning whether or not I’ve been selected.” Mr. Black nodded his approval. “Well done. I’m pleased to hear it. How is your mate, Liam?” Regulus had been waiting for that question, and trying to think of a good response, besides telling the absolute truth. He sliced into his beef as well and watched his father chew for a moment before he responded. “Liam decided that he wanted to return to Ireland. He missed his family a lot,” he informed his father. “We had several differences of opinion as well.” “What, regarding his parentage?” Mr. Black questioned nonchalantly. Regulus nodded slightly. “I guess that was part of it. I still think that he is a very skilled wizard and should be considered as fit as any to do his work, but he felt that society was becoming too hostile toward him, and he was afraid for his family.” Mr. Black furrowed his bushy eyebrows and probed, “Why was he afraid for his family? They’re in Western Ireland. Their only connection to the wizarding world is through their son, and he was not very prominent in wizarding society. It’s not like Lord Voldemort is going to be knocking down their door looking to torture them for their son’s whereabouts.” “Well, his sister Aislinn was wounded in Diagon Alley last month,” Regulus explained. “And Liam has been more involved in some kind of Society for Blood Equality. It’s this organization that he’s been going to meetings with since mid-July. He’s been working at Flourish and Blotts to make money.” “No plan for his life, I imagine,” Mr. Black said as he shook his head. “He’s a nice enough boy, but far too idealistic for my tastes. He’d do better to look after himself than to look after others. How did he end up in Slytherin anyway?” Regulus shrugged. “Wouldn’t we all like to know? He’s very ambitious, Liam is, just not in the same ways we are. What do you think about Lord Voldemort, Father?” “What do I think of him?” Mr. Black returned, voice raised an octave, staring at Regulus and forgetting his plate for the first time. “What do you mean, what do I think of him?” “Do you think he’s brilliant, or mad, or a raving lunatic, or whatever? Do you think he makes a good leader? Do you agree with his politics?” Regulus inquired, somewhat alarmed at how the questions tumbled out of his mouth. “I suppose that I agree with him,” Mr. Black answered cautiously. “I’m glad that someone is purporting the Pureblood agenda and reminding everyone of true wizardry, but I think that he needs to gain more support before he can act. It would be a mistake for him to attempt to do anything major this soon.” “What do you mean by true wizardry?” “Well, only those who are Pureblood wizards are really able to practice magic in its purest form. You know that,” Mr. Black replied as if he was explaining the term to an eight-year-old Regulus and not an eighteen-year-old one. He turned back to his plate and started cutting small pieces of meat again. “And you like the Dark Lord because he agrees with that? What about his agenda to reform government?” Regulus did not want to leave the conversation without getting a better idea of where his father stood. Mr. Black set his knife and fork back down on his plate again and wiped his mouth with a napkin before responding. “I’m glad that someone is taking the initiative to do something about the government because it’s starting to get ridiculous,” he admitted. “They never get anything done. I was surprised that you decided to work for the Ministry. It’s honestly just a big pile of rubbish.” “I agree that it’s a pile of rubbish,” Regulus said. “But I thought that maybe being a part of it would help a little. Jacks and Camden run my department like a bloody naval ship; I think it just depends on who is in charge. I think that the Dark Lord might be a good candidate for someone to be in charge.” Mr. Black regarded him for a moment before asking, “Do you really? Well, that’s interesting. I would have thought you would be entirely contrary to his agenda, seeing as your best mate is a Muggleborn wizard from Doolin, Ireland, Slytherin house aside.” “I could never forget the things that you’ve taught me, Father,” Regulus said matter-of-factly. “I want to be on the right side if the time does come for war.” “Well, don’t be daft,” Mr. Black said as he finished his meal. “Staying on the right side means not being committed to either one. Be careful with your alliances. That’s all I’ll advise.” He motioned for Kreacher to take the plates and sat back in his chair, looking somewhat tired and ragged. “Are you all right, Father?” Regulus asked, concerned. “Yes, I think so,” Mr. Black replied. “I’m doing my best not to let your mother know, but I do think that your thinking of your extended future would probably be a good idea. I’ve asked the kitchen not to make dessert, if that’s all right with you.” “Of course, Father,” Regulus said softly. “Thank you for having me here tonight. It was good talking to you.” Mr. Black smiled. “It was good talking to you, too. Do keep in mind your safety. I’ve not come out and supported the Dark Lord openly because I do not yet know what that would mean for the future of our family. Make safe decisions; don’t throw your lot in entirely with him.” “And if I do?” Regulus held his breath. “I’d support you,” Mr. Black admitted. “Have a good night, son. Be safe as you travel back to your flat.” Regulus exhaled silently, bade him goodnight, and finished his goblet of wine in silence. His father would support him if he knew what he was doing. His father was proud of what he had done at work. His father would be proud if he knew what he was doing for the cause. His father was proud of him. Not of what he might do, not because he was different from Sirius. His father was actually proud of what he had done and of what he was doing. He was not alone after all. ~~~~~~ Liam stretched in the backseat of the car, attempting to remember how long the drive was to Ballyvaughan. While his family lived in Doolin, as they had for several generations, his father’s business was based in the larger port at Ballyvaughan. The pier at Doolin was not sufficient enough to handle the larger vessels, and Michael Merric had decided that it was worth the drive to be able to have a larger fleet. He did most of his work at home anyway, since becoming the owner of the company after his own father’s death some ten years prior to that chill, early, late-September morning. Silas was in charge of the routine business at the docks, but every once in a while Michael decided to drive up with his son to work on maintenance and check on the status of each vessel. Liam’s return home, in his mind, merited such a visit. Michael had always told Liam that the best time to be out on the water was at sunrise, and he took his own advice very seriously. He roused his youngest son at five in the morning, as promised, made Liam a breakfast of eggs, toast, and sausage, and deposited him in the backseat of the car where he quickly fell asleep once again, despite the short hour-long drive between the two locations. Liam woke to the soft voices of his father and brother just as the sun began to creep over the horizon, ten minutes outside of Ballyvaughan. He saw the tall masts spotting the surface of the water in the distance, blocked occasionally by large trees covered with leaves beginning to change their colours from vibrant green to reds, yellows, and oranges. The sea crashed against the rocks on the shore and he watched the white spray scatter and wet the surrounding sand. It felt so good to be home where he belonged with the people he loved the most. Liam breathed a deep sigh of contentment and sat up a little straighter so that Silas and Michael would see that he was awake. “Good morning, baby brother,” Silas joked as he saw Liam’s stretching arms in the rear-view mirror. “Sleep well?” “Hiya, Silas. Yeah, I reckon so,” Liam said sleepily. “We’re almost there?” Silas turned around to respond, “Yeah, we’re nearly there. I decided to let Pa drive since he doesn’t usually get a chance to go up this way. Are you ready to be put to work? I have a nice list of things to do today.” “I think I can remember how to be useful,” Liam assured him with a laugh. “What boat are we working on?” “The Constellation,” Michael called from the driver’s seat. “Your boat? We’re not working on one of the large cargo ships?” Silas shook his head and explained, “Not today. We figured we’d start you on the brigantine to get you used to the process again. Pa hasn’t been getting up to Ballyvaughan as much as he should and he’s let the upkeep slip a bit. I have a new sail plan drawn up and we need to do general cleaning, maybe replace a few lines. It’s also something that the three of us can do together, without wandering eyes and ears.” “Ah, yeah, I understand completely,” Liam replied. “Sounds like we’ll be busy for most of the day. Good thing Ma packed us some lunches last night.” Liam thought back on the past few weeks as Michael drove through the streets of Ballyvaughan, chequered with colourful houses, various shops, and residents on their way to work. It was a good thing that he had been able to bring Aislinn home and explain about the blood inequality situation previously, but it had still been very hard to explain what had happened with Regulus. None of them would believe him at first, and it was hard to admit that he still did not believe it himself, but by and by they came to accept what had happened and tried to get on living as normally as possible. It had been hardest for him to explain to Aislinn because she kept insisting that there had to be a good reason for Regulus to have done what he did. Deep down, he knew that he agreed with her, but he still could not come up with a proper solution for the problem. And it was easier to just forget about it. They pulled into the shipyard and he thought fondly about his father’s restored brigantine, Constellation. Michael renamed the old cargo boat in honour of the stars that had been crucial to navigation at the time of its maiden voyage in the late nineteenth century. He had a soft spot for buying and restoring old boats to their former glory, and the Constellation was his pride and joy. He had bought it when Liam was five years old and Liam had learned the basics of sailing and rigging on its decks and spars. The larger ships needed ten to fifteen people to get any significant amount of work done on them, but it was possible, though a bit more challenging, for only three people to complete Silas’ upkeep plan for the Constellation in one day. Liam looked it over as Michael and Silas readied a small rowboat to launch from the shore out to the buoy the Constellation was tied to. Though it was too small to be a full sailing ship, the brigantine was too large to be kept tied to the dock at all times or to sit at dry dock. It was more practical to leave it anchored to a buoy in the bay. Liam helped load the equipment and the lunches in the rowboat and switched off rowing with Silas on the way out to the boat while Michael mentally looked over the plan himself and started making a list of who would do what and in which order. “Right. Liam, I’ll have you wash up the decks to start with while Silas and I check the lines and see which ones we have to replace. The sails, I think, are all okay, but I’m afraid that some of the lines may be too worn. I won’t know until we get there, really, so be ready to sort through some of the new lines when you’re done,” he said as he stroked his white and silver beard. “We’ll probably break for lunch after that and then do some painting in the afternoon.” “What about Silas’ new sail plan?” Liam asked through heavy breaths as he took his turn at the oars. “We’ll only use it if we need it,” Silas answered. “I’d rather not have to replace every line and sail if we don’t have to. Almost there, now. I’ll give it a final go. Can you handle attaching the lines to the deck?” Liam nodded in affirmation and switched with his older brother one last time. He sat in the bow ready to jump to the much larger Constellation as soon as they were close enough and tie it securely to the side. He counted down as the black hull drew closer and then sprang at just the right moment, anchoring the line under a metal shackle to hold it fast so that he would not have to support the boat with his body weight, and likely get pulled into the water. Michael threw him a line from the stern and he secured the boat from the aft as well, turning then to help with the cargo. After everything was on board, he filled a pail with soapy water and began drawing a large mop back and forth across the decks, thankful that he was only on a boat with two masts rather than a ship with three or more. It would have taken him hours the other way around. Silas and Michael dodged him as they walked around checking each line for wear and marking the ones that would have to be replaced. The Constellation had a square-rigged foremast, a fore-and-aft-rigged mainmast, and a bowsprit extending outward from the bow. Though sails made from modern, manufactured materials were available, Michael preferred to use traditional canvas sails on his own boat. He also preferred attaching sails to wooden spars instead of steel or aluminium ones, though he did compromise with steel cable for his standing rigging that was rarely changed. “It looks like all of the standing rigging is set, but we’ll need to replace some of the running rigging. The sails all look good. Do you want to climb up to the yard on the foremast and help replace some of the lines up there? I figured you’d prefer being up to being down on the deck,” Silas told him a while later, when he was almost done with the deck. Liam stood and stretched his back as he said, “Yeah, I can do that. Do we need to replace anything on the mainmast?” Silas shook his head. “No, those lines all look stable. Pa is working on some of the lines along the boom of the mainmast. We’ll all finish in time for a late lunch. Ready to go on up there?” Liam nodded and pitched his pail of soapy, dirty water over the side of the boat. He followed Silas to the bow and scaled the foremast quickly, getting up to the yard in no time. He wrapped his legs around it to stabilize himself and waited for Silas to show him which line to release first. They started working in harmony, Liam catching on again very quickly. They worked in silence for ten minutes or so before Silas started talking again. “So, do you think you’ll be home long? Are you keeping up with what’s going on back in England?” he asked carefully while preparing the next line to throw up to Liam. Liam swung his legs a little and looked out over the bay while thinking of a response. “I really don’t know. I love being here. I miss all of you so much when I’m gone, and it’s great being able to see Clare growing up,” he began. “I’m just worried that I’m putting all of you in danger by being here. If I went back, I might be able to keep you safe.” “That’s rubbish, and you know it,” Silas retorted. “It’s not like you’re a major target for this Voldemort person.” “You don’t know that,” Liam objected. “No one has any idea what he’s planning. That’s why he’s so dangerous. But the whole government and society is committed to believing that he will never do anything rash or destructive, and that’s bloody ridiculous. I just can’t seem to get anyone to agree with me.” Silas tossed the line and Liam caught it deftly. He started passing it through the metal block to hoist it upwards where he was unable to climb. Silas encouraged him lightly, “You can’t change everything, Liam, just what you can touch right in front of you. I know that you want to be able to reform this entire society that you love being a part of and which I’ll never understand, but you may not be able to do that, and that’s something that you’ll have to learn to accept.” Liam grunted an affirmation as he continued using the pulley system. “We can really use you here,” Silas pointed out. “I mean, I don’t know if there are any spells or anything for keeping boats in order, but if there are, hell, I can put you to work on all sorts of things.” Liam laughed and said, “Well, there aren’t any sailing specific ones that I know of, but there are plenty that I could adapt for this kind of work. I just prefer to do it with my hands, you know? The way I learned it. I would feel like I was cheating if I tried to do it any other way.” “Yeah, I can see that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it every once in a while,” Silas replied. “Honestly, I don’t think you’re putting us in more danger by being here. I know that we don’t know of anyone else in the area who is a wizard. I think having you here makes us safer because if the Death Eaters come here, you can fight. You’re the only one who would be able to stand up to them.” Liam finished rigging the line and shimmied along the yard to the next one to prepare it for replacement. He thought carefully about his response while he worked. “That’s definitely true. If they came while I wasn’t here because I was working against them over there, I would feel awful,” he admitted. “But I still feel like staying here would be totally giving up on a big part of my life. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, Silas. I can’t be who I really am here, but I can’t be who I really am there either. I’m literally stuck between two worlds and I can’t figure how to mesh them together.” “I have a feeling you’ll figure it out someday. You won’t be here forever,” Silas assured him. “Who knows, maybe little Clare will turn out to be a wizard, too.” Liam laughed and corrected him, “She’d be a witch, not a wizard.” “Dear me, a witch in the family. What would Ma say?” Silas joked. “Well, she seems fairly normal to me.” “Are you calling me abnormal?” Liam asked in mock exasperation. “I’m deeply hurt by that, big brother.” “Well, one of us has to be mad, and I’d prefer it to be you over me,” Silas shot back. “Nah, you know I think that it’s brilliant what you can do. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could do it alongside you.” Liam sighed and said, “That would be great, but I wouldn’t wish this burden upon you. It’s not an easy one to bear.” They finished rigging the lines in silence until Michael called them aft for lunch. He passed each of them a corned beef sandwich and an apple, and then bit into his own. Liam reclined on the deck and listened to Michael and Silas discuss business, the various ships in their fleet, and family life. He joked some more with Silas and listened to his father tell him stories about what Tara was up to at her university and how he had taught Clare how to tie some simple knots over the weekend. Maybe this life was not the one that he thought he had been heading for throughout school, but it was not a bad one. He was guaranteed a job in his family’s vibrant business and time with his family. He was where he had grown up and where he had hoped to settle down again one day, it was just sooner than what he had been planning. But perhaps a little change was exactly what he needed. Or perhaps he was just putting off facing reality and living in a fantasy world. ~~~~~~
Author’s Note: Thanks to my betas: Arnel, Cygnus, and Felicia. Y’all are wonderful! But thanks especially to Cygnus for helping the Constellation get afloat. Some boating terms from Wikipedia: Sail Plan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sail-plan Rigging: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rigging Also, a website that includes pictures of the type of boat I am envisioning for Michael. These are boats that run out of Camden Harbour in Maine, near where some of my family live and one of my favourite places in the world. The Constellation is modelled loosely on the Grace Bailey: http://www.mainewindjammercruises.com/gracebailey.cfm
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