It was worth making that deal with the devil to know that Ginny would soon be going home. The Minister had kept his word. As soon as Harry had sat down with Rita Skeeter for the interview, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been permitted in to see their daughter.
He had told the prying witch that he thought that the Ministry was doing a bang up job, lying through his teeth as he said it. By the time he got back to the waiting room, Ginny was stable and everyone had been in to see her. An Auror was still stationed outside of her door but the man nodded to Harry and motioned for him to go in. He turned to say something to Tonks but she shoved him through the door.
Harry found Mrs. Weasley sitting next to Ginny's bed, her bandaged hand clasped loosely in her mother's tender grip. "Mrs. Weasley…" he said softly, not wanting to wake Ginny. Her face was turned away from him but he could hardly see much of her anyway. She was covered from head to foot in stark white cloth.
Mrs. Weasley gently set her hands down and pulled Harry into a bruising hug. "Thank you!"
He nodded as he patted her shoulder awkwardly. "'Course," he muttered thickly. "It wasn't so bad."
She patted his cheek with a watery smile. "I'm going to go for a spot of tea. You'll stay with her, won't you?"
"I don't want to be anywhere else…" speaking of which… "Where are Ron and Hermione?"
"I sent them for food," she told him as she walked to the door. "It will be days yet before she can come home, so there's no sense in them being exhausted. Besides, Ginny's sleeping and will be for some time."
"Right," Harry agreed, stealing a glance towards her. Ginny seemed almost rigid, as if she was straining to hear them. "Well, I'll be here in case she wakes up. Take your time."
Once she had left, Harry sat down in the seat that she had just vacated and tentatively reached out to take her hand.
"I'm not asleep," Ginny muttered as she turned slowly to look at him.
Somehow Harry had known that. "Pretending for your mum?"
"She insisted," Ginny replied and tried to sit up a bit. She winced and quickly gave up.
"Can I help?" He asked as he was half out of his seat but she shook her head.
"No, it's the wounds. They're everywhere and if I move too much they break open," she rolled her eyes and even below the bandages he could see her trademark smirk. "How long did it take you to figure it out?"
"December," Harry admitted reluctantly. "How did you know there was a spy?"
She cleared her throat and looked towards the door. "Muffliato…"
"Right," Harry agreed as he pulled out his wand.
With the charm in place, she finally answered him. "I overheard Bill speaking to Remus about how the Order had a leak. I didn't know who, but Remus said that he was afraid that you were going to be hurt because of it." She took a deep breath and went on. "Then when you three were attacked at your Aunt and Uncle's house I knew that Bill had been right. Remus told us that unless someone gave it away, they couldn't know where your aunt and uncle lived."
Harry closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "You could have said something to me."
"I did say something to you!" Ginny protested instantly. "I warned you at Bill and Fleur's wedding that you needed to be careful."
"Yeah, but you could have said…" his voice floated off as he thought back to that night. "All right, you did tell me. I was just too thick to get it."
She smiled gently. "So I went to spy at Theodore Nott's house and the rest is history."
"You shouldn't have gone," Harry told her reprovingly. "You could have been killed."
Ginny snorted in a most unladylike way and groaned when she tried to shift again. "You are risking your life everyday by being out there, hunting him down."
Suddenly all of his relief that had been keeping him going over the past few days was gone, replaced by anger so overwhelming that he shot to his feet and started pacing. "You don't get it, Ginny."
"No, you're right," she growled back. "I don't get how you're allowed to risk your life but I'm not."
"The prophecy is real," Harry told her coldly and to his amazement she laughed. He also couldn't believe he was arguing with her when she had nearly died last night.
"Oh bullocks on the prophecy! You're going to kill him because it's the right thing to do and how can you expect any less of me?" Her eyes were daring him to argue.
Unfortunately he couldn't. It was eerily similar to the conversation that he had had with Dumbledore about the prophecy. In the end it was his, Harry's, choice to fight Voldemort and he had been expecting less of her.
A wave of shame washed through him at his own feelings. He'd wanted her safe; he still wanted her safe. But in trying to keep her safe he'd denied her something that he was choosing to do himself.
Fight the most evil man that had ever lived. The prophecy was meaningless in that way. It just meant that Harry had a chance of actually succeeding where all those who had gone before him had failed.
"I'm sorry," he apologized and sat back down next to her. This time he did take her hand. "I just never wanted you to get hurt."
"You're forgiven," Ginny assured him. "Just don't do it again."
Harry ran his gaze down the length of her and gulped back his horror. "Are you going to be able to walk again?"
"I… I don't know," she answered honestly and he could hear the fear and defiance in her voice. "I haven't tried to get up yet since the deeper cuts still aren't healed."
He couldn't resist asking. "What happened?"
"We found out that Voldemort was coming for me," Ginny said with maddening calm. "Theodore heard his father talking about it and he came to get me out. I alerted Tonks that I was in trouble just before Alecto burst into my room and killed Theodore instantly. She took me down to the basement and began to torture me."
Harry waited for more, his entire body shaking with rage, but she seemed to need to compose herself. "If you can't tell me," he said finally, "then don't. I understand."
"No," she countered. "I want to tell you but…" she hesitated and met his eyes. "I don't want you getting angry over this."
He shook his head in dismissal. "I'm already bloody furious about the whole thing."
"Fair enough," Ginny said in a manner that reminded him instantly of the twins. "She used a dagger that she laced with poison, and she cut me up with it. By the time she got to my face the Order was bursting down the front door and she was killed in the fight."
It was slightly mollifying to know that she was dead, and that he wouldn't have to hunt her down to kill her, but it didn't stop the nausea from flooding through him at the thought of what Ginny had already been through. His thoughts started to drift towards revenge when something she'd said caught his attention. "Nott was helping you?" he asked in shock.
She nodded, "To escape yes, but not to spy. He didn't know why I was there. Voldemort found out how you felt about me a month ago and he decided to have me killed to weaken you, that and after Gringotts… well they knew I was a spy."
"If you hadn't been in his house –" Harry began but she cut him off sharply.
"If I hadn't been there, Harry, he would have killed my entire family to get to me anyway." Ginny just glared at him and he glowered in return. "Being the spy was just icing on the cake. It seems that you were having dreams about me."
Harry felt his eyes widen and all of the blood drain from his face. "Oh…"
Her eyes gentled a bit as she went on. "I heard about that two weeks ago. Theodore's dad had just got out of St. Mungo's, from where you put him, when a message arrived that he was to keep an eye on me; that I was important to you."
"But that doesn't –"
"It does!" Ginny said hotly. "The only way that Voldemort could know that I was important to you is for you to be dreaming about me. That's how your connection with him works."
All right, it did make sense. "Yeah… I have been dreaming about you."
She looked like she was about to cross her arms, but thought better of it. "Are you going to tell me about it, then? Or am I the only one who has to spill their guts."
It seemed as if his emotions were determined to yo-yo today. His face was scarlet now as he thought back to all of the imaginings. All of his hopes and dreams hinged on how the next few minutes went. "I found this box in the Room of Requirement."
Slowly he explained to her what had happened, leaving out only the part about the Horcrux. "So… so that started other dreams about us."
Ginny simply blinked at him. "You… you were dreaming about a life with me?"
He nodded jerkily and felt his hand began to sweat. Harry wanted to pull it away to wipe it off but he didn't want to let go of her. Waiting for her to respond was killing him.
"I…" she gaped at him, still surprised. "That wasn't what I was expecting to hear."
Now it was his turned to be shocked; shocked and suddenly filled with dread. "What were you expecting?"
She shrugged and flinched, causing Harry's stomach to knot up. He hated seeing her in this much pain. Finally she got her breath back and told him, "I thought it might just be dreams about when we were together."
That wasn't enough for him, though. He wanted more now. "After living through the experience in the box, I'm… different." It was an understatement, but he didn't know if she felt the same about him and he wasn't going to push it. He wanted to tell her about what he'd seen of his parents in the Pensieve, but decided that it could wait for another day.
"I can tell," she replied. "Harry…" again, she hesitated, a direct contrast to the brash and confident person she had been minutes earlier. "I'm… not going to be the same ever again. Bill's not going to be the only one covered in scars."
Harry nodded. He knew that, had known it since she had been brought in and they said she would be lucky to survive. When faced with her death or her being scarred, he would take the scars any day. He wished she hadn't gone, but from what Tonks had told him on their way back from his meeting with the Minister, he knew that Ginny had saved many lives. His heart had swelled with pride, even as he wanted to throttle her for being so stupid.
To his utter horror several tears leaked from her eyes. "Ginny! I'm sorry, I know you're going to be scarred but…" What could he say that would fix this? he floundered helplessly as she tried to wipe her own tears. Her arms wouldn't bend though; they were too heavily bandaged. He reached out a finger and gently swiped at them with the pad of his thumb. "What's wrong?"
"I'm scarred," she reiterated firmly. "Don't get me wrong because I would do it again in a heartbeat. I saved all of the students at Hogwarts and I saved many lives here at St. Mungo's but… I'm going to look like this forever."
"Yeah, but you'll get through it." Instantly his petty thoughts of staying angry with her for running off froze in his brain. Ginny had warned the Order about the attack on the Hogwarts' Express, which caused the school to stay closed. She'd been the one to warn the Order that there would be an attack on the hospital. She'd probably been the one to warn Tonks that Luna's house was about to be attacked as well. "You're a hero."
She groaned and sniffed once before letting a small smile grace her lips. "I'm not a hero."
"Okay, you're a heroine," Harry retorted. "Still… I'm proud of you."
…and very thankful she had seemed to have forgotten about his dreams.
"Heroines are beautiful," Ginny whispered softly as her eyes clouded over in pain.
"You're beautiful," Harry said before he could think about it. Then his heart slammed to a halt at the look in her eyes. It was something he had never seen there before.
Doubt.
Her words from before flooded back into his brain. I'm scarred… I'm going to look like this forever.
He got up from the chair and carefully sat down next to her. He would have given anything to hold her, but he was afraid of hurting her further. Instead he traced his finger over her forehead and lightly touched her hair. He hadn't done that since they had dated nearly a year before, but he'd longed to do this with her ever since he broke up with her. "I don't care about the scars."
Ginny looked away from him towards the window and said, "You haven't seen what my body looks like."
"I don't care," he repeated earnestly. "I'm angry that you're hurt but the scars don't change how I see you."
She glared daggers at a spot on the wall and licked at her parched lips, still not looking at him. "I knew you were going to do this."
"Do what?" He asked, suddenly confused. "Listen, I have scars."
Her head turned back slowly. "You have a few small scars."
"My hair sticks up," he told her, although he wasn't really sure why.
"It's cute," she countered, her expression strained. "Harry! I look like a zebra!"
He stared at her, willing her to understand. "Fleur doesn't care what Bill looks like."
Her bottom lip trembled once before she caught it and sucked it into her mouth, refusing to give in. "It's different for girls."
Harry couldn't help it. He laughed. "I don't believe this! You think I'm shallow!"
"It isn't funny," Ginny told him curtly.
"No," Harry stopped laughing and leaned in to make sure she was watching him. "No, it isn't funny. I don't give a damn how you look."
She raised an eyebrow in doubt. "You don't care at all?"
He shook his head and shrugged. "No. I'm in lo –" Stop! It was different for him. He'd lived with the knowledge that what he wanted was a home and a life with Ginny for months now. But she was sixteen and she hadn't been where he had. Technically, they weren't even dating at this point. He was going to have to be careful about what he said.
Ginny's eyes changed his mind. They told him exactly what she was feeling, probably because she was so vulnerable right now. Normally she wouldn't have been so obvious, but with all of the pain potions she was on, she didn't seem to have the reserves left to hide it.
She was clearly thinking that there was nothing between them, and she obviously thought that he wasn't going to want her now that she was hurt.
"I love you," Harry told her softly, making up his mind. Her eyes widened, but she didn't say a word, so he pressed on, despite a volley of nerves and a hammering heart. "I want to be with you and as far as I'm concerned, you're it for me." Finding a wisdom that he didn't know he possessed, he added, "What about if you hadn't been cut up and we'd married anyway? Eventually you would have got old and wrinkled."
"Harry…" she said feebly and her cheeks turned pink.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm still going to love you, even when your hair is gray and you're as round as your mother."
Whatever he said must have been right. Her hand caught his and tugged weakly so that he came in to kiss her. As he explored her mouth again, he tasted tears that were streaming down her face. Finally he broke away and studied her splotchy face. It didn't matter, though. He didn't love her for her beauty and it wasn't what had attracted him to her in the first place.
It was everything that made her Ginny. Her spirit, her fire, her wicked sense of humor and how she wanted to always stick up for people who were being picked on. It was the fact that she was willing to get herself killed to do what was right and she wasn't ever going to apologize for it, especially not to him. That was the Ginny he had fallen for. With all of that came an appreciation for her pretty eyes and wonderfully soft hair. She still had both of those things and when he spoke next, it was the truth in his eyes. "I think you're beautiful."
Her nose was running, right along with her eyes, and he took a tissue and helped to mop up her face. "If I didn't believe you before," Ginny whispered, "I'd have to now. Only Mum has ever helped me do that."
"Good," Harry said before chuckling at her puzzled look. "I mean it's good that you believe me. I'd run out of ways to convince you."
She sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. "I was steeling myself to hear that no one was going to want to be with me… least of all you."
"You shouldn't have doubted me," he reproached her quietly.
"You're different, Harry," Ginny reminded him. "That experience with that box has changed you and I didn't… I didn't know that."
"Yeah," he agreed. It had changed him and she was still sixteen years old. There were times that Harry felt as if he was at least twenty years older than his seventeen years. He didn't expect her to reciprocate his feelings, but he wanted it clearly understood what he felt. She was going to have a rough go of it, what with recovering, and he didn't want her to be worrying about him. "Well don't doubt me again, all right? I'm not going to change my mind."
"Okay," she promised and smiled genuinely for the first time since he'd come in. It caused his breath to hitch with how radiant it made her. "Harry…"
"Yeah?" He asked as he traced a trail from the freckles on her nose.
"I love you too."
A grin tugged at his lips as he bent down and kissed her again. "Good," he whispered before peppering her with more kisses as a wave of relief swept through him, leaving him slightly dizzy. "I've wanted to hear that for a long time."
He placed a light kiss on her forehead as she said, "I wanted to tell you a long time ago."
"When did you know?" Curiosity was eating at him, prickling at him to ask the question.
"Since Bill and Fleur's wedding," she informed him. "I looked at you and I just knew that I was going to do anything to keep you safe." She smiled ironically at his look of incredulity. "I know how you feel, Harry… I feel the same way. I was going to protect you even if it meant my life."
Harry almost said that he wished it hadn't happened but he knew that would be a mistake. He would be faulting her for acting in the same manner as he, himself, had acted. Besides, it didn't matter now. What had happened was in the past and Ginny was now safe, or she would be as soon as they got her back to the protection of the Burrow.
Ginny yawned noisily and closed her eyes.
"You should sleep," he told her but she immediately protested. "No, I'm not going anywhere," Harry promised. "Sleep now and we'll talk more later."
Her eyes fluttered shut and he sat back in the chair, taking up the post her mother had vacated for him. They had a lot more to say but for now it could wait.
Harry smiled down at her, enjoying watching her sleep so comfortably. She loved him and that was all that mattered. The rest could wait.
