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Author: Faelaern Story: In Memoriam Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 2 Words: 50,063
It's times like these you learn to live again Harry's eyes snapped open and for a moment, he wondered what he was doing asleep on the common room floor. Seeing other people lying around him triggered his memory, and the events of the day came back to him. He sat up, pulled on his glasses, and sighed. As usual he had dreamt of Sirius. Tonight, however, his dreams hadn't taken him back to the Ministry of Magic, but to Grimmauld Place, at Christmas. He, Sirius, and Ginny had been sitting around the table, laughing and drinking Butterbeer; Ginny had looked so beautiful… Harry shook his head quickly and turned his gaze towards the sleeping form of Ginny Weasley, not three feet from where he now sat. He watched her sleeping, her chest rising and falling with -- Harry Potter you should NOT be looking at her chest! He could feel himself blushing; it didn't matter that he was the only awake in the room and no one had actually known he had been… Oh Merlin, but she's Ron's sister. I can't be… but…but nothing. I am. And he was. He was falling in love with Ginny, even if his own train of thought wasn't articulate enough to say so. Memories of Ginny started flashing through his mind, and it finally hit home how much she had done for him over the past year, the past week especially. He remembered falling asleep in her arms and the bliss that had accompanied that. A smile worked its way onto his face. She had spent the night with him, holding him. She wouldn't do that if she didn't love him, would she? Would she? Harry's smile froze; suddenly he wasn't so sure. He thought back to her words on the train at the end of the year: "I've chosen Dean Thomas." Those four words suddenly began to echo in his mind, and his heart fell as quickly as it had risen. What if she was pitying him, what if she only felt sorry for him? Maybe she had love letters to Dean in her bag at this very moment! Harry clenched a fist at the thought. He pulled himself out of his sleeping bag and rose to his feet, stepping over the sleeping forms of Ron, Bill, Fleur, and Charlie to get to the portal. He quietly pushed the door open and stepped out. He needed to get out and walk, needed to think about this some place where Ginny wasn't lying right in front of him. He needed to- "Good evening, Harry." Harry jumped, but managed to prevent himself from shouting when he saw that it was Karl. "Karl? What are you doing here?!" he hissed. Karl motioned him out into the hall, and Harry complied, closing the portal behind him. "What are you doing here?" Harry repeated. "I'm standing in the dark," said Karl with a smile. Harry reddened, feeling foolish. "I guess it's pretty obvious you're on guard duty. It's just… sorry, my mind is elsewhere." "Your godfather?" Karl asked tentatively. Harry studied Karl closely. He had obviously known that he and Ginny had well… slept in the same place, and hadn't turned them in to Mrs. Weasley even though he could have. "Er… actually not," he said. Karl said nothing, but raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to go on. "It's… I'm just confused about something. I thought I'd walk a little and see if I couldn't puzzle things out," said Harry. Karl nodded. "Not a bad way to do things, in the best of times, but I can't let anyone leave the common room until morning." Harry's lip curled in anger. "Dumbledore's order, right? Is he afraid I'll go off and 'follow my heart' again?" he spat. "'Cause we all know what –" In the next instant Harry was flat on his back with a ringing in his ears. He opened his eyes to see two Karls standing over him. He blinked, and the image refocused into one. "That is what should have been done to you the last time you went off on a 'pity me' tirade, Harry," said Karl. "What in the – WHO THE HELL DO YOU-" He broke off at the look in Karl's eyes; it was furious. Karl continued talking as though he hadn't been interrupted. "We are at the start of a war, Mr. Potter, a fact of which you are all too aware. Dumbledore told me he made a mistake in not letting you shoulder a man's burden when you had shown yourself more than ready for one –" "When did he tell you that?" asked Harry in surprise. "I met with him shortly before Remus and I were assigned as your guard detail," said Karl as he reached out a hand to help Harry up. Harry pushed his hand aside but sat up. He opened his mouth to speak but Karl cut him off. "I've only known you for a week or so, but making a general assessment, I have to agree with the old man – you are more then ready to shoulder your own burdens -" "Thank you, Karl, your approval means so much to me," Harry snapped. "- save in one area. You've got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself, lad. I understand you've suffered, I understand you've lost. And as a young man, you shouldn't have to force yourself to come to terms with that in a short period of time. But you can't have things both ways, Harry. Either you're ready to act like an adult or you're not. Which is it going to be?" "I'm not the only one mourning for Sirius!" Harry protested bitterly. "It's the day of his memorial; I'm still allowed to do that, aren't I?" "Of course. What you must attempt to restrain yourself from doing is lashing out at people who are trying to help you. As I said before, there is a war on. We cannot afford to be infighting! Your friends understand that, and I know, for one, that your Ginny wouldn't take the kind of attitude I just got from you." Karl finished talking and held his hand out again. Harry accepted it this time, without thinking, as he felt his ears go red. "My…er, what do you mean my Ginny, Karl?" he stammered as he got to his feet. "Lad, do I look like a pillock to you? Wait, don't answer that. But in my experience most young ladies don't spend a night on the sofa with boys they aren't romantically attached to." "But that's the thing, we aren't. She even said she didn't like me," said Harry, flustered. Karl looked confused. "I find that extremely hard to believe. Were those her exact words?" "Well, no," Harry admitted. "She said she liked one of my roommates." "I don't pretend to understand that. You'd best go talk to your friend Hermione when you get the chance; she may be able to explain that somehow. But not now. I've kept you up long enough already, you've got another hectic day tomorrow," said Karl. "Right," said Harry. He turned around and walked back to the Fat Lady, who he was surprised to find awake and alert. He muttered the password, and slipped quietly back into his bed. *** He was shaken awake what seemed like five minutes later. Opening his eyes, he saw sunlight streaming in through the windows, and realized he'd been asleep for several hours at least. Mr. Weasley was crouching over him. "Come on, Harry, time to get up." Harry yawned, stretched and looked around. All of the other sleeping bags were gone, as were their occupants, except for Ginny, who was sitting up and blinking sleepily. "Where is everyone?" he half-asked, half-yawned. Mr. Weasley smiled. "Breakfast. The two of you would do well to get some food into you as well. We've got another long trip ahead of us." Ginny stood up as Harry pulled his glasses on and got to his feet. "Are we taking the Express again?" "Er, no, not exactly. I'll let Dumbledore bring you up to date. Why don't you get yourself cleaned up and I'll see you down at breakfast?" *** Half an hour later, Harry walked into the dining hall. It was a setup similar to that of the Christmas of his third year, with most of the tables up against the wall and everyone gathered around one. He apparently cleaned up faster than Ginny, as there were only two empty seats at the table and she was nowhere in the room. Dumbledore looked up as Harry made his way towards one of the empty seats. "Good morning, Harry," he said. "Did you sleep well?" "I slept all right," he said, surreptitiously glancing at Karl out of the corner of his eye. Karl didn't look up from his porridge; however, he seemed quite engrossed in a rather long letter that must have come in with the morning post. "I'm glad to hear it," said Dumbledore. "Mr. Weasley mentioned that we're taking a different route back to the Burrow," Harry said as he helped himself to some toast. "Indeed you are," said Dumbledore. "I'll be getting to that when – ah, good morning, Miss Weasley." Harry turned to see Ginny walking up to the table, her hair still wet from her shower. It wasn't until she turned to look at him that he realized he was staring and looked quickly away. "Good morning, Professor," said Ginny as she took the empty seat between Harry and Jean-Phillipe. Harry felt his pace quicken at Ginny's proximity. With effort, he resisted the urge to stare in her direction. "Now that we're all assembled, I think it is time to bring everyone up to date on today's method of transportation," Dumbledore started. "We're not taking those bloody invisible horses are we?" Ron blurted. "Language, Ronald Weasley," said Mrs. Weasley sternly. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "No, Ronald, you will not be traveling by Thestral. I had thought to send you back by way of the Knight Bus, but as it turns out, the Order's mobile headquarters will be in the neighborhood this morning, and I am certain they will be more then happy to take you back to your Muggle vehicles in London." "Mobile headquarters? Since when has the Order had a mobile head quarters?" asked Harry. "I'm afraid I can't give you the details on that here, Harry," said Dumbledore, his gaze shifting over to Ron and Ginny for a moment, and then to Mrs. Weasley, who shook her head. Harry didn't feel up to arguing the point, so he nodded. He could pass on information to Ron and Ginny later, as long as Dumbledore told him what was going on. Harry heard a door open at the end of the hall and turned to see Snape walk in, looking as greasy and sour as ever. "The Persistence has arrived, Headmaster. Captain Krum seemed delighted to be taking on passengers." His gaze swept over Harry, the Grangers, and the Weasleys, and he sneered. "I suppose three months at sea is enough to make anyone desperate for… company." "Thank you, Severus, that will be all," said Dumbledore. "Captain Krum? You don't mean…?" Ron blurted. "Yes, Ronald, Viktor Krum is a member of the Order. I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you more when you get down to the lake. I think you'll find that your belongings have already been brought aboard," said Dumbledore. Ron looked accusingly at Hermione, but she looked as stunned as he did. "I didn't know, he never said anything," she said, shaking her head. "You'd think he'd at least tell you these things," Ron huffed. "Well, he can't exactly risk passing classified information in letters, can he?" said Hermione. From the tension building in the air it was obvious to Harry that another row was about to begin. "I'm going down to the lake!" he announced loudly, getting to his feet and pushing in his chair. "Sounds good, Harry, I'll come with you," said Ginny, standing up. "Fred and I are going to head into Hogsmeade and Disapparate; we left Lee in charge of things," said George. "…And Merlin knows what he's done to the place by now," added Fred. Ron and Hermione were now glaring at each other, oblivious to the goings-on around them. Hermione broke eye contact and turned away in a huff. Everyone else got to their feet, and all seemed eager to get away from the table, though Harry noticed amused expressions on the faces of most of the adults. They walked as a group to the doors at the other end of the hall. Dumbledore stepped forward to open them but before he could do so, the doors opened from the other side and Mad-Eye stepped in. "Alastor?" said Dumbledore, looking surprised. "I thought you were meeting with O'Rourke today." "Well, I was supposed to be, Dumbledore, but it turns out that'll be impossible for me to do, for a little while at least." Dumbledore looked at him sharply. "Is he-" "Gone? Yeah. Put up a good fight though, from what I saw of his place." Dumbledore nodded sharply. "I see. It would appear I have some business to take care of, then. But first things first. If you wouldn't mind accompanying us down to the Persistence?" "Not at all," said Mad-Eye. They made their way as a group out of the castle and onto the grounds. Looking down at the lake, Harry's eyes widened in surprise. From what Dumbledore had said, he gathered that the Persistence was a ship, but he hadn't expected it to be the exact ship the Durmstrang students had used when they'd come in fourth year. "We've got an alliance with Durmstrang then?" asked Ginny, turning to Dumbledore. "Not exactly. I'm sure Captain Krum will be happy to bring you up to date," Dumbledore replied. They made their way down to the lake, where a gangplank was stretched across to a makeshift pier. Viktor Krum stood at the top of the plank. He looked much the same as Harry remembered him, though he now wore black robes and a fur cloak instead of the Durmstrang robes. Standing with him was a short woman in a gray, cowled cloak that concealed her face from view. "Good morning, Viktor," said Dumbledore. "I trust your journey here was safe." "Ja, it vas, thank you. As safe as can be expected anyvay," said Viktor. "I admit, I vas not expecting so many people, though. I am not certain that ve have room for quite zis many." "They'll not all be sailing with you," said Dumbledore. "You'll be taking on the Grangers, Harry, Karl, Remus, Ron, and Miss Ginny Weasley, whom I don't believe you've met," he said. 'Zhat ve can do," said Viktor, with a rare smile. He was about to say something else when the woman standing next to him asked in an amused voice, "Viktor darling, are you going to introduce your future wife, or must I make introductions for myself?" Her accent sounded similar to Viktor's, but her English was without flaw, and her voice smooth as velvet. Harry's jaw dropped for a moment, and to his right he saw that Ron looked just as shocked. Hermione seemed quite unfazed by this information, however. Viktor reddened at the woman's words but before he could say anything Mad-Eye asked, "Ludmilla? Ludmilla Mateeva?" The woman turned to face him. Harry saw that she had a veil over her features in addition to the concealment offered by the cowl. "I am. Do I kn– no, wait, your voice is familiar." "I'd hope so. Do you remember a battle beneath a town in Germany, in the tomb of a Saxon king?" "Germany? Then you would be…either Alec Zorn or…no. Not Pretty-Boy Moody?" Mad-Eye threw his head back and laughed, the sight of which was nearly as disturbing as the conversation he was carrying on with this strange woman. A conversation which had stunned everyone else present into silence. "It's been a long time since anyone's called me that, for reasons which should be obvious. Alec Zorn was killed by the Dark Lord, who also took this," said Mad Eye, opening his overcoat and pointing at his wooden leg. Ludmilla inclined her head. "My apologies, Alastor. Are you… otherwise well?" "I am. But we can catch up later. We seem to have recovered our old knack for being Europe's worst conversation killers, you and I," said Mad-Eye, laughing again. Dumbledore broke in. "Alastor, I had no idea that you and the Countess Ludmilla were acquainted. I daresay if I had, you might have been sent along with our other envoy." Moody was about to reply, when Ron, who had been standing staring at Viktor, interrupted. "Hold on! What are you doing marrying her? Is Hermione not good enough for you? Or was she just a fling?" Harry's eyes swept from Viktor to Ron and back again. The Bulgarian looked taken aback, while his best friend's face looked a mix of anger and confusion. Both stared at each other for a moment. Off to the left, Countess Ludmilla was shaking in silent laughter. Viktor was the first to break the silence. "Ronald Veasley, isn't it? I am marrying Ludmilla because I lowe her. And I am vondering vhy you have not told Herm-own-ninny how you feel about her? Your lack of action is getting aggrawating to all around you, and vorse then this, you have hurt her. Now, there vill be time enough for zis conwersation later. Right now, I vish to have a vord with Dumbledore. You may avait me in my cabin below." Ron half-choked, sputtered, and stared, mouth open, at Viktor. He opened and closed his mouth several times and looked over at Hermione, then looked quickly away. Hermione was looking at Viktor with a cross expression on her face, then she turned to glance at Ron and saw him still standing there, shaking his head. "Ron?" From the look on her face now, Harry thought she might be about to cry. Ron gulped and turned to her. "H-Hermione. Can I talk to you…can I--" She nodded. "Yes. We have a few minutes while Viktor talks to Dumbledore. Walk with me." The two of them walked off down the lakeshore without a backwards glance. Harry turned back to the others to see a mixture of amused expressions on their faces. He grinned himself and said, "I suppose I'll get on board then." Ginny gave quick hugs to her family and dashed up the narrow gangplank onto the ship. Harry nodded to the rest of the Weasleys and boarded the gangplank after Ginny. Karl and Lupin followed him. Ginny was already headed below deck, assisted by one of the sailors, whom Harry thought he recognized as a former Durmstrang student. He felt eyes on his back and turned to see Ludmilla looking at him. Something about her made him uneasy. It wasn't that she was evil, he had felt evil before and this was different. And yet there was something about her. Ludmilla turned to look at him and again, he felt her smile. "Harry Potter, I presume? What is it about me that intrigues you so?" Harry was taken aback for a moment. "I..er…why do you keep your face hidden?" "A fair question. Let us just say that I burn easily," Ludmilla replied. Harry looked at her sharply. "It's cloudy." "That is the norm in Scotland, as I understand it," said Ludmilla. "Sorry," said Harry. "Perhaps I am mistaken, but to my knowledge it isn't exactly the norm to see vampires west of the Alps." If Ludmilla was surprised at his revelation, she didn't show it. "You'd be surprised, actually. Some of us come in to visit Hogsmeade fairly often." "I see," said Harry. "Well, good to meet you." "And you, young one, and you," said Ludmilla. Harry turned and walked down below decks. A sailor offered to help him as well but he politely turned the man down; he could find his way well enough. The hallway below was extremely narrow, perhaps three feet wide at most. It seemed to go on for a long ways, lit by torches burning blue flame. He realized then that he had no idea where his quarters might be. Hearing footsteps on the stairs behind him, he turned to see Ron and Hermione. Both of them were flushed and Ron's ears were bright red. Harry could just make out the imprint of lips on his neck. "I take it your conversation went well then." Ron smiled and nodded. "You might say that, yeah." Hermione shook her head. "I don't know whether to strangle Viktor or thank him. I mean, I did give him advice about Ludmilla but--" "You're aware she's a vampire?" Harry cut in. "Of course I am," said Hermione, as Ron's jaw dropped for the second time that morning. "You're aware that Professor Lupin's a werewolf, aren't you?" "That's different, Hermione. Werewolves don't suck blood!" said Ron. "No, they turn into moon-mad monsters once a month. It's not their fault, anymore then it is Ludmilla's fault she has to have blood to live. She only takes as much as she needs to survive. Her entire family does the same; it's part of the Creed they live by." Suddenly the ship gave a lurch. "I guess Viktor's done talking to Dumbledore," said Ron. Harry noticed that Ron was no longer calling the Bulgarian 'Vicky.' "We're off then," said Harry. "Ludmilla said that you and Ron are staying in the tenth door on the right, and Ginny and I are just across the hall," said Hermione. Harry took the lead down the hall towards their accommodations.
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