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Author: Lady Chi Story: With All My Love Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 6 Words: 60,540
Wednesday night approached faster than Peter would have liked. That night, sitting in front of the fire in the common room, he couldn't concentrate on homework or the reading he was supposed to get done for his Herbology class. He couldn't think because his mind kept returning to the fact that, sooner rather than later, he was going to have to somehow prove he was every bit the man that his friends were. The problem was he wasn't sure that he believed that. James and Sirius, while they had their faults, could both be smooth talkers and were certainly more than competent when it came to magic and learning. Peter, on the other hand, always seemed to struggle with anything involving a wand. If it weren't for the help of his friends, he certainly wouldn't be taking as many N.E.W.T.-level classes as he was, and there was the possibility that he wouldn't have made it to seventh year without their help. As far as Remus was concerned, while he certainly wasn't as… dynamic as James or Sirius, he had a dry, sarcastic wit that most of their classmates found appealing. What did he have to offer? He wasn't quick-witted, or smart, or funny. With a heavy sigh, he stared even deeper into the fire. "Peter?" a soft voice asked from behind. Startled, he jumped high off the ground and whipped around. "Lily! You scared me." "I'm sorry, Peter," she said and smiled. "I thought we could sit together. I'm working on the same Herbology assignment. You're much more talented at it than I am." Peter blushed to the tips of his ears. "You're just saying that." Lily shook her head. "No, I'm not. Everyone knows you're one of the best in the class. Even James doesn't really do as well as you do." "You really think so?" Lily narrowed her eyes. "Yes, of course. I wouldn't lie about something like this, Peter." Shrugging a little, Peter turned back to the fire. "Thanks, Lily. It's really nice of you to come and talk to me like this." "Why wouldn't I?" "Nobody really talks to me unless they want to talk to James or Sirius," Peter mumbled and opened his book again. "It's not really a big deal, I guess." "It's a big deal if it matters to you," Lily said with a smile. "Sometimes it can seem like the biggest thing, can't it? Well, I'll have you know that I, for one, really like you, Peter Pettigrew. Friends?" A slow smile crept over Peter's face. The change was startling. Features that might have seemed rat-like or frightening now seemed harmless. His cheeks were quite rounded, she noted, but he had little dimples on the sides of his mouth. "Friends," he agreed, and held his hand out. Sometime later, when they were both closing their Herbology books, Peter stood and then offered to help her up. "Thanks, Peter," Lily said. "I really enjoyed it. I had no idea some of those man-eating plants could be so fascinating." Peter grinned. "It's all in how you look at it, I guess." "'Ello, Peter," Sirius said as the portrait door swung open and he, James and Remus strode through the door. "Evening, love," he called to Lily with a wink. "Hello to you too, Sirius," Lily called back with a good-natured grin. "Um…. H-h-h-hello, S-s-s-s-sirius." With the direness of the situation suddenly settling upon him, Peter found it very hard to respond. After all, in a few short hours, he would be attempting to sneak around these people, his mates, who had been his lifelines for seven years. Somehow, he felt like he was betraying them. "I say, what's the matter with you, old chum?" James asked, his eyes wandering from Lily's face to Peter's. "You've been a bit more… jumpy than usual. Something wrong?" Peter shook his head and swallowed hard. "N-n-no. There's n-n-nothing wr-wr-wrong with me. There's n-n-nothing g-g-going on." "Right," Sirius said, sarcastically drawing out the word and raising his eyebrows. "That's why you're stuttering all of a sudden." "Look, you lot," Remus interjected, "why don't we let Peter have his secret for a while, eh? I'm sure he'll let us in on it eventually." "Y-y-yes, of course." James narrowed his eyes, taking a step closer to Peter to get a better look at his friend. Meanwhile, Peter sweated under his gaze. What if James saw something he wasn't supposed to see? Finally, James said, "Well, all right. After all, we've all kept secrets before…. And besides, we've all been known to get a bit nervous around Lily." "James, mate, I think you've been known to get a bit nervous around Lily," Sirius teased. James glared at Sirius for a moment, but as usual, couldn't stay mad for long. "I'm thirsty. Sirius, you still have any of that Butterbeer from our last Hogsmeade trip?" Lily raised her eyebrows. "Did you lot go to Hogsmeade before school started?" James grinned. "Well, that's for us to know, isn't it?" "James Potter! I can't believe you would break a rule like that when you're the Head Boy, for Merlin's sake." "You're jumping to conclusions, Lily. I didn't say I went before school started." Her face flamed. James was so reasonable. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything." James shrugged. "Yes, you did. It's all right, though. We all make assumptions. Sirius, do you want to go get that Butterbeer now?" "All right." With a jovial wave to Peter, Remus and James, he headed up the stairs to his dormitory. "Studying Herbology, Peter?" Remus asked, sitting in an over-sized armchair. "I was just helping Lily out, actually," Peter said, not without pride. "Really?" Remus turned to look at Lily, who flashed him a brilliant smile. "He's really quite good when it comes to Herbology, especially the more… carnivorous species of plants." James grinned. "Of course. He's a Marauder. He would know all about the plants that could kill you." Lily laughed, and the sound filled the common room. Since her mother's death, she had rarely done more than smile at the wisecracks and antics of her friends. "Of course," she agreed. "I've got the Butterbeer," Sirius called, running down the stairs at a breakneck speed. He came to a quick stop and began to present the bottles. "Two for James, two for Remus -- even though he can only drink one without getting tipsy, the pansy, but you look like you need an extra one, my friend -- one for Peter, one for Lily and three for me." James shook his head. "You're going to drink three?" "I do not get tipsy on Butterbeer," Remus said, with a strong glare for Sirius. "I'll have you know that I'm not the one who had to hold someone's head over the toilet last New Year's!" Lily felt a swelling of joy. Remus and Sirius were teasing each other again! They might, just might, have started fixing whatever had been destroyed. "The reason someone had to hold someone else's head over the toilet had to do with something a lot stronger than Butterbeer!" Sirius said, leaning back in the chair that he'd plopped down in. "Oh really?" Lily asked, popping open her own bottle. "What did it have to do with, exactly?" Sirius grinned and Remus snickered. "A very fine bottle of Odgen's Firewhiskey," James supplied with a chuckle. "A very fine bottle that Sirius destroyed all by himself." "He drank the whole thing?" Lily couldn't help it. Her jaw dropped. "Why, for goodness sake?" "Because it was there," Sirius said. "Because he'd just run away from home," James mumbled at the same time. "Because he's an idiot," Remus finished. "An entire bottle?" Lily still couldn't believe it. "I can't even hold a little bit of that stuff…." James raised his eyebrows. "Do you get tipsy easily, Lily?" He leaned forward, cradling the bottle between his hands. Suddenly uncomfortable under his scrutiny, Lily squirmed a little in her seat. "I'm… Yes, yes I do." James tilted his head back and laughed. Sirius and Remus joined him immediately, but Peter stared down into his bottle of Butterbeer. "That is a fact I shall have to remember," James teased, and drank a swallow. "I get tipsy really easily too, Lily," Peter said tentatively. "No, you don't," Remus said promptly. "You get tipsy on grape juice. That's another thing entirely." Sirius snickered. Peter flushed. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Leave him alone, Sirius, Remus." Looking down at her bottle, Lily was amazed that she had already drunk half of it. Perhaps that was the reason why the words didn't sound quite right. "Hey, slow down there, Lily," Remus suggested concernedly. "That stuff can get to anyone if you drink it fast enough." "To be quite honest, I wasn't aware I was drinking it that fast," Lily said, and took a slower sip of the beverage. James polished off the last of his bottle. "Sirius, mate, don't you think you should get a bag or something to throw this trash away?" Sirius blinked. "Hey, why am I on 'go get it' duty tonight?" "Because you, my friend," Remus said, and wiped his mouth off with the back of his sleeve, "most obviously have the most energy tonight." "Speaking of energy," Lily said, "how are you feeling, Remus?" He smiled. "About as well as can be expected. The full moon's coming up on the 27th." "I know," Lily whispered. "Are you… are you lot going to do things the way you've been… you know, doing them?" James shrugged. "That's the plan. Extra precautions will have to be taken, of course, since Snape seems hell-bent on wreaking revenge on me." "You're going to be careful, right? Every one of you?" Remus smiled. "You don't have to worry about us. We've got the routine down, and as long as nothing unexpected happens, it should go off without a hitch." Sirius squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "It's nice of you to worry, Lily, but Prongs knows what he's doing." "I… I wasn't…" James shot Sirius a look that would have frightened a lesser man. "Leave it, Sirius." "Where were you lot, anyway?" "Serving detention," James said and laughed. "Why is that funny?" Lily asked, intrigued despite herself. "It's funny, because this time we weren't the actual culprits," Remus said, his supreme sense of irony making it impossible not to see the humor in the situation. "We had to polish trophies for like… four and a half hours," Sirius said dramatically. "He gets emotional after about two bottles," Remus said aside to Lily. "I do not! Stop spreading lies about me," Sirius mocked. "I'm not getting emotional here." "Right," Remus said, managing to sound serious and sarcastic at the same time. Quickly, Lily looked down at her bottle. It was completely empty. "Well, it was lovely spending the evening with you blokes, but I've got to turn in." She stood, and James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all stood with her. "Sounds like a good idea to me," James said. "We can continue this as a private party up in the dormitory, gentlemen." As if that were a private cue, Remus, Sirius and Peter all filed out, leaving James and Lily standing alone in the common room together. "Well, good night, then," Lily said, turning away. James's hand on her shoulder stopped her. "Thank you, Lily." "For what?" "For whatever you did to Remus and Sirius. It makes life… more bearable." Biting her lower lip, Lily turned around to face him. "You're very welcome." James smiled… not the grin he treated the public to, but something more private and intimate. She felt a warm glow spreading up from her stomach out towards her very fingertips. "You're really quite an amazing girl, Lily." A fierce blush crept over her face. "Thank you, James, but you didn't have to say that." "That's right. I didn't. But it's the truth, and I firmly believe in telling the truth." Lily nodded. "Were you really worried about me?" James asked, after a moment's pause. "I was worried about all of you," Lily said, but then she, too, smiled. "But I was worried about you especially, James." "Wow. That's… that's amazing," James muttered. "You really were?" "I really was," Lily said, laughing quietly. "Why is that so difficult to believe?" "Because you've disliked me since first year." Lily shook her head. "People can change their opinion, James. We're not eleven years old anymore." "We aren't, are we?" For some reason, James's voice seemed almost sad. "Things seemed a bit simpler back then, didn't they?" "That's just because you're looking at it with a sense of nostalgia," Lily disagreed. "To an eleven-year-old, the world is very complicated indeed." "Strange how that's not how I remember it," James teased. "Maybe it wasn't for you," Lily mused aloud. "You certainly seemed like you had everything under control." "Of course I did," James said cockily. "I was the heir to the Potter family name, arriving at Hogwarts for the first time. I was destined to rule the school." Lily chuckled. "Maybe you were." There was a silence while each of them struggled to think of something to say that wouldn't destroy the mood. Suddenly, in a move bolder than any she could have imagined herself doing before, Lily reached up on tiptoe and kissed James's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." Quickly, she turned around and headed up the stairs to her dormitory, not willing to face James. For a while there was no sound behind her, and then she heard the sound of feet pounding. "Lily! Wait!" She turned around, praying she wasn't blushing from head to toe. "Good night to you, too." ** Peter felt like a criminal, sneaking out later that night. He made the Transfiguration from human to rat as soundlessly as he could and climbed down from his bed. This was something he had to do by himself, though. He didn't want James or Sirius or even Remus to follow him to his final destination. He was certain his friends had noticed his particularly odd behavior over the last week, as he had been even more jumpy than usual. The journey from his bedroom to the Astronomy Tower would have taken an extraordinarily long time, had he chosen to make the journey as rat. However, as soon as he was out of Gryffindor Tower, he returned to human form. When he came, at last, to the door that led to the Astronomy Tower, he paused, taking a deep breath. Pushing open the door, he was astounded at what he saw. There were not just three young boys in the room, but rather a large group of them. With all the gracefulness he was capable of, Carmen rose from where he'd been sitting with his leg crossed. "Greetings, Peter Pettigrew. Welcome to the gathering of the Hogwarts Death Eaters. We are very… pleased that you've come." Gulping, Peter took a step back. "I'm not so sure I am." "What is that supposed to mean, Pettigrew? I think we're going to have a very, very fine time." ** A/N: Firstly, I must apologize for not updating in a very long time. If I go a month without updating again, you have my permission to whack me over the head. Thanks to Anne and Daily Prophet Reporting for their unique perspectives, grand grammar advice and extreme devotion to this project.
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